Today I am doing something I have never done:
I am taking myself to the coast for a day. Just me! I am going to play in the sand, tide pool hunt for shells, and run with my dog in the surf. I rented a nice room with a fireplace, and I will buy a lovely dinner to eat while I watch the waves crash.
Where I am going is a small beach where my grandparents lived, when I was a little child. Sometimes they would take us in, and so I have profound, healing feelings about this tiny town. I plan to walk by the place their cabin stood, and look at the stunning, gorgeous wild mountains. Our coastline here is very wild, very beautiful.
This idea of treating just myself is really new to me, and feels just delightful. I am super excited about it. I'm taking little me on a trip
After almost three months of detaching, I am feeling so much better. It really does get better. I'm noticing that the pain now comes and goes, and I can chart that while it is there, almost unbearable, I know it will leave. The good-feeling times are getting deeper and stronger and longer. I'm not ruminating as much, and when I do I try to get to the bottom of what it means. Most my ruminations are wanting my ex to see the light. So they involve imagining others confronting him. I'm truly understanding now he is on his own journey. It's a foolish journey, and a sad one, but it is his journey to make. I have my own journey.
And today it involves the beach! Just had to share.
