Reading The Grey Rock

[JerryRG]

Reading through this post and came across The Grey Rock

Just got through months of hell with a BPD survivor... .

And WOW! I see my exgf in this, she was so competitive with me and wanted to "one up" me at every opportunity. Wanted me to give here all my possessions and just last week asked when I was buying her a mother's day gift. She even said some random person who worked for child support informed her I was $2000 behind in my payments. Um out of the blue crazy, I'm never late and payments are direct deposited so I can't fail.

I'm not simply speaking about material possessions here, she took EVERYTHING I had, dignity, trust, faith, everything I did was wrong. I

Was chastised at every turn, I soon got so numb from the insults I shut down emotionally.

She went on about not having a dime to her name and I offered to buy her dinner, (this was while my son was in the hospital). She is broke, got a ride to the hospital, 65 miles away but she always has money for cigarettes. She used to leave me with my son to smoke and spend 45 min to an hour on break each time, perfect excuse to ditch responsibility.

I remember playing along a few days later, she asked if I was still using her old dvd player, I said no I'm buying a bluray, (I'm not but I wanted to rub her nose in the fact she's always asking me to give her things and she don't work). Then I brought up that I was buying a new keyboard because she still has mine and won't give it back. (Childish I know) I just wanted to turn the tables on her for once.

Anyway yes my ex has these tendencies of jealousy and tried taking everything I own. I remember when we first started dating she brought up that my car was suddenly her car, my apartment was her home, (she never gave me a dime and when she did find a job all I got for my generosity was "you chose to let me stay there"

Creep

So yes I'm employing this Grey Rock technique and in a way I already did when last year in Nov I told her to leave and stay out of my life. I had enough giving her 100% and getting 0 back.

I still recall that evening and how tired I was caring for my son alone and working and her coming over late in the evening complaining of every illness known to mankind. I actually tried to get her to listen to me a few times but nope, non stop me me me.

Cha ching!  

This has to end or I'm going to lose my mind and or blow my brains out.

As the old saying goes... .Somethings gotta give... .

Huh... .all this time she's just used me as an emotional feed bag and I wonder why I feel hurt. Well duh!

Oh!

A good friend summed up my relationship with my exgf

He said a healthy relationship is 100% x 100% = 1000%

My relationship 100% x 0% = 0%

I give 100%, she gives 0% and I end up with 0

Hope this makes sense

[Hadlee]

Reading your posts detailing her behavior frustrates the heck out of me

If I had someone like her in my life I would buy a one way ticket to another country.  Or run off and join the circus.  Anywhere to get the hell away from her.

[JerryRG]

I did indeed find a sweet sweet rose didn't I?

I picked her, she pricked me, I bleed, now I'm free

[Hadlee]

I did indeed find a sweet sweet rose didn't I?

I picked her, she pricked me, I bleed, now I'm free

Ugh I am sorry for being negative about her.  I understand she is the mother of your child.  But man... .she irritates me to no end   And... .I don't even know the woman!

[JerryRG]

She's not a likable person, I remember her best best friend and how they called each other compulsive liars, . What a pair!

My exgfs friend would fake pregnancy with every guy she dated and one time asked my ex if we still had the audio I saved of his sonograms so she could put a gift together for my ex. Yeah... .I'm thinking she's just going to use it to try and trap another victim.

She's the same friend who snuck ciggs and pills into the hospital when my pregnant exgf was throwing up every 15 min from opiate withdrawal and guess who got blamed for that? Yep .

A rare black rose, from head to toes, dire evil and black,

I'd rather be burned at the stake,

Or be a lions steak,

Than ever take you back... . 

Oh good grief I'm tired

But grateful

Thanks busygall

[Sunfl0wer]

Quite similar as:

The Detachment/Leaving a Partner with BPD

Here are some highlights to same concepts:  (whole article though, is worth reading)

- Gradually become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions. The goal is almost to bore "The Borderline" to lessen the emotional attachment, at the same time not creating a situation which would make you a target.

- Stop arguing, debating or discussing issues. Stop defending and explaining yourself - responding with comments such as "I've been so confused lately" or "I'm under so much stress I don't know why I do anything anymore".

- Begin dropping hints that you are depressed, burned out, or confused about life in general. Remember - "The Borderline" never takes responsibility for what happens in any relationship. "The Borderline" will feel better about leaving the relationship if they can blame it on you. Many individuals are forced to "play confused" and dull, allowing "The Borderline" to tell others "My girlfriend (or boyfriend) about half nuts!" They may tell others you're crazy or confused but you'll be safer. Allow them to think anything they want about you as long as you're in the process of detaching.

- As "The Borderline" starts to question changes in your behavior, admit confusion, depression, emotionally numbness, and a host of other boring reactions. This sets the foundation for the ending of the relationship.

Other excellent info here:

Exiting a BPD Relationship