did she cheat

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So I am going crazy and can't seem to get any closure. Everything in my gut tells me she cheated. All the lies and missing time point directly to it. I think she cheated multiple times but I don't know for sure. Because of the manipulation and lies I feel maybe I'm making it up. There are several instances where she dissapeared and one concrete time I know she send a video to someone but allegedly that's all. Why the hell would she stay? I need closure but can't seem to find it. This is really screwing with me

[Venny]

So I am going crazy and can't seem to get any closure. Everything in my gut tells me she cheated. All the lies and missing time point directly to it. I think she cheated multiple times but I don't know for sure. Because of the manipulation and lies I feel maybe I'm making it up. There are several instances where she dissapeared and one concrete time I know she send a video to someone but allegedly that's all. Why the hell would she stay? I need closure but can't seem to find it. This is really screwing with me

[Leonis]

I think it may be best for you to focus on your own healing for the time being. Sounds to me, you have some evidence of her cheating.

Whether or not she admits it to you, I don't think you'll receive the closure that you are looking for. Reading around, the best closure is the one that we give ourselves.

[C.Stein]

Nothing you can do now.  You will have to construct your own truth that you can live with from what you know.  This is what I had to do and while I have no concrete proof there were too many little things that didn't add up and of course my gut instinct says yes.  How far it went, I don't know and to be honest I don't think I want to know.

We have to provide ourselves with closure which seems to be the case all too often with borderline relationships.

[Fr4nz]

I agree with the guys... .BPD sufferers often cheat, the disorder calls for it, sadly. You should not take it as personal (OK, easier said than done) and detach... .

[Leonis]

Just to add:

Cheating doesn't have to involve the physical form. She could have tossed breadcrumbs here and there just for attention and validation.