I want to create a very strong boundary for myself on what should be said when these disagreements occur.
In many BPD relationships, boundaries are a problem for both sides. People with BPD tend to have none and our own tend to be extremely weak. Over time, even our weak boundaries disintegrate.
It's great that you want to set boundaries -- super important in BPD relationships. Actually, in all relationships. It takes a lot of strength to not be emotionally injured in a BPD relationship, and part of that means having good emotional boundaries.
She made you feel great, and creative. She made you feel worthless and exhausted. Good boundaries come down to feeling worthy regardless of what others do or say. We can feel hurt, sure. We do not need to feel our worth devalued.
She has given you a glimpse of how she handles conflict. Having good boundaries does not mean she will change this (it's probably something she learned in her family of origin and long predated you), it means you will change.
Imagine someone who barges into your house everyday. For a long time, you allow it yet resent it. You wonder why this person does this. Usually because they can! You let them do it for a while, and nothing changes. Then, you tell them to stop. They might for a while, then they go back to doing what they did. You let them do this for a while, and then start to get angry. Why aren't they respecting your boundary? It makes you mad and you escalate things thinking if you get mad they will know you're serious.
What makes someone know you are serious is when you enforce the boundary. With someone who is BPD, or with anyone who has weak boundaries. you have to make the boundary about you. "It's always been important to me that people knock before entering. I love you and want you to come over, and I also want you to knock. Going forward, this doesn't mean I don't want you to come over, it means I care about this principle and I care about myself. If I leave my door open and you walk in, that is my fault and I need to work at remembering to lock my door."
Instead of, ":)on't just walk into my house without knocking first." That might work with someone who has really good boundaries themselves. If you do this with someone who has BPD, it won't really make sense because the whole point is to be able to walk into your house without knocking.