Proud of myself

[JerryRG]

Talked to my sponsor today, he thinks my restraining order was the best option, I told him I expect more drama from the exgf now. I told my sponsor I would like to just be friends and stop all this drama. He said, backup a minute, what do you see in your exgf that leads you to believe she would or could be a friend. He said she doesn't exhibit one good quality needed for friendship. He's right, trust being number one, she is an impulsive liar.

He said there's a huge difference between being friendly and being friends. I agree, my exgf has nothing I would consider a good friend should have to get along together. Why didn't I think about this year's ago?

[bunny4523]

He said there's a huge difference between being friendly and being friends. I agree, my exgf has nothing I would consider a good friend should have to get along together. Why didn't I think about this year's ago?

Jerry,

You are too funny.  Such a simple concept huh?  Well now you know and you won't let it fool you again.   I'm proud of you too.

Bunny

[JerryRG]

Thank you Bunny

My sponsor also said my exgf knows I'm not fooling around with my son's safety any longer as well and maybe she will stop her childish behaviours and trying to manipulate and control me. I can always hope

[freemanstrut]

I would never put faith in a borderline learning from their mistakes or not being manipulative.  Expect and prepare for the worst, and be pleasantly surprised if it goes otherwise.

[bunny4523]

Jerry,

I think there is a chance of less triggers as you distance yourself from her.  Just meaning your not in an intimate relationship anymore.  My guess is her new partner will get the brunt of it.  I don't know if you read it yet but there are  lessons in the discussion board for detaching that talks about leaving the borderline and being "boring and short." It is under suggested reading.  The less emotion the better. I worked with my ex partner for 7 years and could deal with his "quirkiness" I didn't know at the time it was BPD.  But now that we aren't together I rarely trigger him.  It is alot easier for him to hide his emotions from me now.  I'm hoping you will get to the same point with your ex for your son's sake!

Bunny

[JerryRG]

Thanks Bunny4523

I agree the new guy is getting what I got, her pastor told me they fight all the time and I witnessed this a few days ago, her ordering him around like a puppet and him jumping at her call. He gave her a dirty look and she rolled her eyes and shook her head as if she were dealing with our 2 year old son.

She hasn't changed one bit, and I don't expect her too. My sponsor told me to let her know in a gentle but firm way that we only speak about our son. She brought up her being sick again tonight while I dropped my son off. I DON'T CARE! Lol.

Actually I listen but no I'm not part of your life anymore. Your life is some crazy S**T! My sponsors words not mine.

Life is good, (dumbest statement ever, life is life, good or not)

I have a full time job, taking care of my son and myself

Have a great night! Peace

[gotbushels]

Nice one Jerry! I'm not thinking too much about the RO, but I feel from your post that she is very far away from being able to define your happiness. I also feel a distance between the two of you that I recall felt great for me. Enjoy your week:)

[bunny4523]

Nice one Jerry! I'm not thinking too much about the RO, but I feel from your post that she is very far away from being able to define your happiness. I also feel a distance between the two of you that I recall felt great for me. Enjoy your week:)

I have to agree!  Jerry you sound like you are in a much better place.  Stay put! your doing a great job with your healing. Feels really good to see you in this place.

[JerryRG]

Thank you

Having a little anxiety about the protection order, realizing the potential for my son's harm and the fact that abuse isn't something that occurs once and goes away. My exgf is still with this guy and wonder what the judge will think of her judgement in being with him and putting my son in that dangerous situation.

This stinks all the way around for my son, I have proof she left my son alone with this guy. She has no common sense

[bunny4523]

Thank you

Having a little anxiety about the protection order, realizing the potential for my son's harm and the fact that abuse isn't something that occurs once and goes away. My exgf is still with this guy and wonder what the judge will think of her judgement in being with him and putting my son in that dangerous situation.

This stinks all the way around for my son, I have proof she left my son alone with this guy. She has no common sense

It stinks right now and it is high anxiety and stress.  Try to imagine what it will be like once it's over and he is protected.  I had to go through a custody battle years ago because my ex decided to cut child support in half because he got mad at me.  It was the hardest thing I ever did.  He continued to reduce the child support and then tried to increase visitation (even though he wasn't seeing our son on his scheduled time anyways)  to scare me into backing off.  I kept going and won.  The last 5 years have been peaceful because he knows he can no longer mess with me. It was the best thing I've ever done.  It took a year but it was soo worth it - atleast I see that now. Hang in there and keep doing what you think is right.