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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
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Topic: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER (Read 484 times)
JerryRG
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832
Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
on:
June 15, 2016, 03:50:35 PM »
Picked up my son and the ex was talking about the night she got roughed up by her bf. She said she was abusing him verbally and he got upset and they pushed each other around and ended up wrestling. Oh? That sounds all too familiar... .
She still thinks she's ok and that her relationship is fine and this was a once in a life time occurrence. I know her and this will continue until he hurts her seriously or leaves or both.
He's currently on probation for the abuse and she explained the reason he plead guilty was and I quote... ."he's a nice guy and he's honest"
Well the last time I wrestled with my ex was when she kidnapped me inside her apartment and wouldn't allow me to leave. I gently persuaded her to move.
She is so deluded and out of touch with reality.
I fear for her but I fear more for my son.
She said my son wasn't home when it happend like that makes it better. She abuses him just like she did me and expects him to allow it?
Anyway she said I wasn't in my son's life at the time, this was when she took my son to stay with her bfs family without notifying me. I told her at the time I was still trying to wrap my mind around her telling her bf I raped her. Her response was that's what he believes as if her telling him had nothing to do with her being the helpless victum.
Yuk yuk yuk she is so twisted
Forgot to mention I asked her to stick to our son and nothing else, I told her I was not part of her life any longer and I certainly wasn't interested in us being friends. Told her she had nothing on her personality I considered worthy of friendship. I know she won't stick to this but I need to establish bounderies.
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unsureuncertain
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 30
Re: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
Reply #1 on:
June 15, 2016, 05:31:45 PM »
Are you concerned about having your son around an abuser and is there anything you can do to prevent him from having contact with your son?
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JerryRG
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832
Re: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
Reply #2 on:
June 15, 2016, 05:58:16 PM »
I filed and obtained a protection order on her bf, go to court June 27th to find out what the judge wants to do.
The exgf is still not seeing the seriousness of this situation and is not concerned.
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GaGrl
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5761
Re: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
Reply #3 on:
June 15, 2016, 08:25:00 PM »
We used to have a forum member with a wonderful mantra... .
"You talk to her too much."
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
JerryRG
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832
Re: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
Reply #4 on:
June 15, 2016, 08:35:39 PM »
And she does it again!
Her
K. I just got out, need to drop (bf) off and then will b there. Sorry, bible study went over hours
Me
I told you to keep our personal lives out of our conversations. I do not care to hear about your abusive bf
One more reference to him and I will find an interpreter for us, I hope you get this because I'm sick of explaining it to you
-----------------
Same old S*** every damn conversation
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once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12764
Re: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
Reply #5 on:
June 15, 2016, 09:37:10 PM »
the dynamic isnt changing JerryRG; youre expecting her to change it, and youre just saying it louder each time (belief that if we say it louder we will be heard being one of the Ten Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck)
boundaries are for you, not her.
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and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12180
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
Reply #6 on:
June 15, 2016, 09:43:55 PM »
Quote from: Gagrl on June 15, 2016, 08:25:00 PM
We used to have a forum member with a wonderful mantra... .
"You talk to her too much."
This sounds like what a buddy told me the other week, "Are you sure you're divorced? You sure talk a lot. "
JRG,
You're angry and have a right to be based upon the false accusations, and the TRO to keep your son safe is added stress. It's necessary to assert boundaries, because pwBPD often don't have them. Your anger sounds like it's bleeding into your communications. Is this helpful in the long run given that you have to parent with this person for the next decade? Wouldn't BIFF be more appropriate, especially given that you are in the middle of a legal case, and your communication might be evidence? Be Bland, Boring, Emotionless. Beyond Spock: Sarek. BIFF the boundary about not wanting to hear about the bf. I look upon my situation as business: the business of raising the kids. When I engage emotionally, it telegraphs engagement rather than detachment with boundaries.
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“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
JerryRG
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832
Re: Exgf explained what happend the night she went to the ER
«
Reply #7 on:
June 15, 2016, 09:45:03 PM »
So what do I do? Everytime I ask about my son she refers to her health or not sleeping or her bf, or something else I care absolutely nothing about.
Just accept she's going to manipulate me each and every second we talk? Does she know she's being inappropriate and disrespectful and is she clinging to me for some stupid reason? She said when we were in the hospital a few weeks ago she missed me as her best friend. SHE'S NOT A FRIEND, She's a sick, mean, cruel person who because she refused to get help our son is being harmed by bouncing from home to home and all the little guy wants is a quiet life where he's safe and secure.
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