Found old journal

[WhoMe51]

I was going through some things  and  I  found  a journal.  It was  dated  June  2014.  I found today's date and read what I wrote on that day. 

"I never know what to  do?  I never  get  told that  she  appreciates  anything that I do for her.  She just keeps  telling  me  I'm not meeting  her needs.  I ask her what  she  wants  me  to  do  and  its  always  the things I'm already doing or have done.  I don't  understand  and it's so confusing.  She's never happy with anything  I do.  She wants me to show her passion and romance when  all she does is tear me down.  She also says that if she has to tell me  how to meet her needs then it's not coming from my heart and it's fake."

I sure don't  miss  those days.  We were together for almost 6 years.  And this became her behavior every other weekend.  She would push me away by telling me this every other  weekend.  And then she  would  come back around like nothing happened ever happened.  And I would be so glad to have her back  that I wouldn't  say anything about it. It's  been  two  plus months of no contact.  It's  been  tough  but reading  things like  this help me to stay no contact 

[JerryRG]

Hello WhoMe51

I was deleting old pictures of my exgf on my computer and ran across something I sent in a text early on in our relationship.

Basically explaining "I'm not God", "I cannot fix you or your problems  with BPD"

I knew this from day one, she was in DBT before I met her and stopped the therapy.

If I spent 1% of my energy I spent on saving her from her and put that into myself I would be the happiest most successful man I know.

Opps, I am happy and content, or as we say in AA... .

"Happy, joyous and free!"

Probably drives her nuts I am happy but that's because I am loving myself the way I need to keep people like her on the other side of my boundery.

She's still the same miserable person she was the day we met.

[Naughty Nibbler]

HEY WhoMe51:   

         

I was going through some things  and  I  found  a journal.  It was  dated  June  2014.  I found today's date and read what I wrote on that day.  .  .  .  It's  been  two  plus months of no contact.  It's  been  tough  but reading  things like  this help me to stay no contact

GOOD JOB!  Journaling can be very beneficial.  It can be easy to forget and minimize things down the road, so reinforcement is a good strategy.  Sometimes, when I go back and read something I wrote to vent my frustration, I have to ask myself, "did I write that?"  Sometimes, I write things out in a letter form (never mail via US mail), or email draft (never send & don't enter email address, as don't want to hit "send" in error).

Keep up the good work, you got this!