Day 8 of no contact, tough but hanging in there

[Mr Orange]

As per the subject, today is the 8th consecutive day without any form of communication between my wife and I, who are separated now about 4 months. This is the longest stretch of no contact since we began dating in June of 2013. I think there was a 7 day stretch back in April, but I'm pretty sure she reached out to me on day 7.

Perhaps she has realized that I'm not wavering on my ultimatum that she get into therapy (as I have) or we're not getting back together, and is moving into a mindset of accepting divorce rather than facing change.

I deactivated my facebook account a couple of weeks ago because that makes it easier for me to not be bothered seeing posts about what she's up to or whatever. I also changed her name in my contact list on my phone from her first name to "Person who only cares about themselves". May seem silly, but it helps keep me in the mindset that ultimately she has continued to blame me entirely for our failing marriage, and uses FOG over and over to try and change my position. It's tough and some days it's rather lonely, but I feel like I'm really growing a lot through this difficult time.

How do you guys deal with the no contact periods? Stay busy? Pursue hobbies and personal projects?

[Naughty Nibbler]

HEY MR ORANGE:  

I deactivated my facebook account a couple of weeks ago

Very wise move.  Facebook can be the root of a lot of pain, when a pwBPD is in the mix.  :)efinitely not worth it to have the urge to view snarky remarks.

I also changed her name in my contact list on my phone from her first name to "Person who only cares about themselves". May seem silly, but it helps

I can relate.  When I went NC with my uBPD sis, I changed the ring tone to the Wicked Witch of the North and attached a photo to match.

How do you guys deal with the no contact periods? Stay busy? Pursue hobbies and personal projects?

 

All of the above are common.  People connect with casual group opportunities via "Meet Ups".

Just Google "Meet Ups ___________".  Put your city and state in the blank (or perhaps your county, if that is applicable).  You will see opportunities to meet up with a group of people going for a hike, bicycle ride or some type of gathering.  

Grab a camera and go to the park or a beach and take some photos.  If you have a dog, bring the dog along or offer to walk a friend or neighbor's dog.  Take up a new sport or even consider doing some volunteer work centered around something you might be interested in.  An example of a couple I'm considering at the moment are, volunteering at a wetlands wildlife rehab. facility and possibly volunteering in another aspect of wetlands preservation (by a local beach area).