Saying Hello

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi!

I have a 23 year old daughter who was diagnosed with BPD when she was a teenager. I don't think either of us took it seriously. What a mistake. Since she was about 17 she has turned into a person I don't even recognize. Today she is in jail on a robbery charge (shoplifting and then resisting arrest) and is waiting for her preliminary hearing.

I have been blaming everything that has happened in the last year on her crystal meth use. I kicked her out when I discovered this as well as I couldn't take the physical or psychological abuse anymore.

She took to the streets and has been on meth for a year now. Now that she is in jail, I am waiting to speak with the public defender in the hopes we can get her a residential treatment assignment. She has had 4 5150s in the last year and several run ins with the police - 2 other cases on top of this one.

Does anyone have suggestions on treatment, places that worked? We live in Southern California

[kyra]

Hi!

I have a 23 year old daughter who was diagnosed with BPD when she was a teenager. I don't think either of us took it seriously. What a mistake. Since she was about 17 she has turned into a person I don't even recognize. Today she is in jail on a robbery charge (shoplifting and then resisting arrest) and is waiting for her preliminary hearing.

I have been blaming everything that has happened in the last year on her crystal meth use. I kicked her out when I discovered this as well as I couldn't take the physical or psychological abuse anymore.

She took to the streets and has been on meth for a year now. Now that she is in jail, I am waiting to speak with the public defender in the hopes we can get her a residential treatment assignment. She has had 4 5150s in the last year and several run ins with the police - 2 other cases on top of this one.

Does anyone have suggestions on treatment, places that worked? We live in Southern California

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

I have a 23 year old daughter who was diagnosed with BPD when she was a teenager. I don't think either of us took it seriously. What a mistake. Since she was about 17 she has turned into a person I don't even recognize. Today she is in jail on a robbery charge (shoplifting and then resisting arrest) and is waiting for her preliminary hearing.

I have been blaming everything that has happened in the last year on her crystal meth use. I kicked her out when I discovered this as well as I couldn't take the physical or psychological abuse anymore.

She took to the streets and has been on meth for a year now. Now that she is in jail, I am waiting to speak with the public defender in the hopes we can get her a residential treatment assignment. She has had 4 5150s in the last year and several run ins with the police - 2 other cases on top of this one.

Does anyone have suggestions on treatment, places that worked? We live in Southern California

HEY Kyra

Welcome to BPD Family

I'm so sorry that you daughter is in jail, but maybe this will be a wake-up call to force her to get off drugs and get treatment for BPD.  It is unfortunate that she resisted arrest.  I understand that that can be the determining factor to escalate it from just shoplifting to robbery.  I think you need a big hug.

Someone else here, with more experience will be able to give you some more precise information.  My understanding is that DBT Therapy is used a lot for BPD.  You can find some info. on BPD TREATMENT here.  Someone in the court or probation system will likely have some suggestions for treatment facilities.

You might consider checking in with a therapist for a few sessions.  It could help you work through some of your emotions, help you understand BPD and perhaps advise you of some local facilities for treatment.

Have you read any books about BPD?  I found Stop Walking on Egg Shells rather enlightening.  There is a lot of helpful information on this website.  You will find the links on the right side of this page helpful.

Information at these links on COMMUNICATIONS and FOG and BOUNDARIES will likely be helpful.

I found this link recently.  The website is run by someone who went through DBT Therapy and wanted to share.  I'm placing the link here for the sole purpose of giving you some insight into what some aspects of the therapy might be:

www.dbtselfhelp.com/index.html

Keep posting and ask questions.  There are a lot of helpful people her to support you.

[lbjnltx]

Hello and welcome to the Parenting Board, we are happy to have you with us though so very sad for what brings you here.

You will find that many parents here have or are dealing with adult children with drug addiction, arrests, and even homelessness.  It's heartbreaking  :'(

I don't personally have any experience dealing with these things, and I surely do empathize with you.  I hope that the PD will meet with you, hear you, and assist you in getting court ordered inpatient treatment for your daughter rather than jail time.  Looking for a place that is dual diagnoses (mental illness and drug addiction treatment) is preferable to only addiction treatment.  As Naughty Nibbler mentioned, a program that implements DBT would be a good place to begin searching.

Is her hearing scheduled? 

Let us know how the meeting goes with the public defender. 



lbjnltx