She wants a boyfriend any takers?

[montenell]

So as I'm getting ready to go to bed, the wife who had been sleep for a couple hours says " I'm gonna get me a man who will treat me right " or something to that effect. I looked at her but didn't respond laid down and went to sleep.  Then when I woke this morning she mentioned it again...   Again I did not respond, as this comes up every so often...   A few minutes later I get a text from her (we are in the same house mind you)  saying  "I am married and don't have a romantic relationship with my husband, really? "... As well as finally responding to my text about me needing a day to myself and that she might need another one.  To that she said "another when did I have one" (this past Saturday even she went out with her friends)...  

It's funny to me because she wants the life we had when we were dating...   Before we had kids a house etc, when I made the mistake of spending all my free time with her...   Now that we have responsibilities and live the life she told me she wanted, now she's bored and overwhelmed.  She often says she needs to get a boyfriend, but she thinks so highly of herself that she is too good to do that...   Funny thing is I'd be happy for her to find one...   Let someone else deal with this drama.  They say BPDs are excellent in bed but this one doesn't fit that... .  Sigh... .  End rant.

Does anyone else go thru this?

[teapay]

Yes I've gone through similar.  My W has often complained we had kids too soon.  She laments all her past choices and tries to pin that responsibility on someone else.  She is frequently bored or overwhelmed to by the things her life that she said she wanted, but now wants some other past or future field of green grass.  Her ideal life would be her doing whatever she wants with no consequences, someone else footing the bill and taking the consequences for her, an endless clean slate with everyone and me in constant devoted adoration of her.  Sound familiar?

[Cipher13]

Yes this has come up with me as well. My wife has said the same exact words.  And by using the same method of communication. A few minutes later I get a text from her (we are in the same house mind you)  saying  "I am married and don't have a romantic relationship with my husband, really? "...

Have you gotten the "I hate my life and everything in it including you. You don't make me happy. You aren't Romanic. You make me feel like crap."?

I actually wish she would find someone else. But me being the nice guy I am I would probably ruin it by letting the guy know what he is in for.

[montenell]

Yes I've gone through similar.  My W has often complained we had kids too soon.  She laments all her past choices and tries to pin that responsibility on someone else.  She is frequently bored or overwhelmed to by the things her life that she said she wanted, but now wants some other past or future field of green grass.  Her ideal life would be her doing whatever she wants with no consequences, someone else footing the bill and taking the consequences for her, an endless clean slate with everyone and me in constant devoted adoration of her.  Sound familiar?

Man all too familiar...   Just the other day she was texting me about how empty her life is,  how she needs more from life.  I replied that I understand how she feels but I don't have a solution...   And a couple days later the focus is on me and how i don't give her enough...

[montenell]

Yes this has come up with me as well. My wife has said the same exact words.  And by using the same method of communication. A few minutes later I get a text from her (we are in the same house mind you)  saying  "I am married and don't have a romantic relationship with my husband, really? "...

Have you gotten the "I hate my life and everything in it including you. You don't make me happy. You aren't Romanic. You make me feel like crap."?

I actually wish she would find someone else. But me being the nice guy I am I would probably ruin it by letting the guy know what he is in for.

I get the you're not romantic thing all the time.  The I hate my life thing, but usually she doesn't outright mention me...   She will however let me know she's unhappy with me... I should have known when we were dating and I met her son's father and as we were leaving he told her "don't fight this one". I m like you in  I wish she would find someone and there's a chance I'd warn him but then again I might be able to fight that urge

[Cipher13]

I think it was just 2 days ago she mention to me that almost any other guy would want to be with her and I should want to have sex with her more.  Here is the problem with that. Well several actually. 1. she wants to to be ultra romantic very single time. Mind blowing. 2. She wants me to initiate it every single time. But then puts a lot of rules and restrictions like it has to be after a certain time of day but before another time. Like a 1 hour window. 3. She will drop the hint and of 5 minutes pass the allotted time frame or I am SOL and she is furious with me. Like I slighted her some how. But seriously some other guy can have this I don't want to deal with it anymore.

[montenell]

I think it was just 2 days ago she mention to me that almost any other guy would want to be with her and I should want to have sex with her more.  Here is the problem with that. Well several actually. 1. she wants to to be ultra romantic very single time. Mind blowing. 2. She wants me to initiate it every single time. But then puts a lot of rules and restrictions like it has to be after a certain time of day but before another time. Like a 1 hour window. 3. She will drop the hint and of 5 minutes pass the allotted time frame or I am SOL and she is furious with me. Like I slighted her some how. But seriously some other guy can have this I don't want to deal with it anymore.

Im so relieved it's not just me...   Her idea of inititiating is being naked in bed, however she walks around naked all the time... To the point that the kids (6and 4) tell her to put clothes on.  She will wait for me to come home for work and when I get off the shower she's passed out.  Most of the time it's not worth all the effort, by I hear how so many men would love to have someone like her

[ICantFixHer]

I guess I was lucky that my ex pwBPD girlfriend never pressured me for sex or said I wasn't satisfying her. After 10 years together, there were times where maybe 2 weeks would pass between sex but she didn't seem to mind, nor did I.

But, boy, did she ever love to get drunk and tell me how much better she could do with another man, a REAL MAN as she used to say. She'd call me emasculating names like p*s*y and f*g*ot, and belittle me when I was doing "manly" tasks around the house and yard. I remember one time I was using a sledgehammer to sink some fence posts into the ground and she yelled at me, "Come on, big boy, hit it! Hit it big boy."

All this crap came out of nowhere, to me; I am sure in her twisted skunk mind she had some justification, or some other secret relationship she had was unraveling in the background.

I ended this relationship in no uncertain terms about 3 weeks ago; last week I made a huge judgement of error and allowed her to talk me into unblocking her on Facebook. She said she would still be able to "feel a connection" with me if we were Facebook friends.

What happens? I unblock the skunk and immediately some dude posts a heart on her page and a video of Queen's "Take My Breath Away." Then skunk and Dude have a conversation on the thread where they were talking about how happy they were to be meeting for the 1st time this weekend. Sly comments, etc.

I am done with the skunk so she can do whatever she wants with whoever -- good luck to them, you know? But to allow myself to be fooled by her again, only to have her blatantly attempt to hurt me, on Facebook no less, for all our common friends to see, well, that put another nail in a coffin that is quickly becoming nothing but nails.

She responded the next day:

"I'm sorry that you saw that post on Facebook, I was very angry that he put that on my page. I took it down. And I'm not seeing him for lunch because of it. I just want you to know that I don't want to be blamed for that because it's not my fault that it happened. But it's also not my fault that a guy might be interested in me either. It's not what I wanted, to be in this position. "

The last thing she was was angry -- she and the Dude happily engaged each other over the course of a dozen posts over several hours. And of course it's not her fault, either what she did, or that "guys like her." And of course she put herself in "this position" by systematically driving me out of her life by saying things like, "I'm more of a man than you and you just have to admit it. Admit it!"