Adding my Mother to my NO Contact List

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Right before my last therapy session my mom asked me if I was ever going to forgive her. I largely avoided the question, but it did get a little tense. My psychologist recommended that I ask her what she thought I need to forgive her for, against my instinct I did.i had been hoping she would bring up more broader issues like how she undermined my self worth, but no she justified how she was not wrong when she didn't punish my sister for dragging me across the house and throwing me down a full flight of stairs. The conversation went downhill from there she did not want to take any blame, and I think she only wanted me to say I forgive her so that she could feel better about herself. It made me realize that it was always about her ( she is codependent to my undiagnosed BPD father), so I told that I now see that she can't be what I need and cut contact.

Other than my sister suggesting that I see a doctor, because she thinks it might be a physical ailment causing my psychological problems (what the heck), it has been quiet. I noticed a lot of energy release from my root chakra in the days following these changes.

[Starting_Over]

Right before my last therapy session my mom asked me if I was ever going to forgive her. I largely avoided the question, but it did get a little tense. My psychologist recommended that I ask her what she thought I need to forgive her for, against my instinct I did.i had been hoping she would bring up more broader issues like how she undermined my self worth, but no she justified how she was not wrong when she didn't punish my sister for dragging me across the house and throwing me down a full flight of stairs. The conversation went downhill from there she did not want to take any blame, and I think she only wanted me to say I forgive her so that she could feel better about herself. It made me realize that it was always about her ( she is codependent to my undiagnosed BPD father), so I told that I now see that she can't be what I need and cut contact.

Other than my sister suggesting that I see a doctor, because she thinks it might be a physical ailment causing my psychological problems (what the heck), it has been quiet. I noticed a lot of energy release from my root chakra in the days following these changes.

[Naughty Nibbler]

HEY Starting_Over   

Right before my last therapy session my mom asked me if I was ever going to forgive her. I largely avoided the question. My psychologist recommended that I ask her what she thought I needed to forgive her for, against my instinct I did . . . . she did not want to take any blame

 

  I'm sorry that that didn't go well 

Other than my sister suggesting that I see a doctor, because she thinks it might be a physical ailment causing my psychological problems (what the heck), it has been quiet.

Is this the sister that threw you down the stairs?  Have you ever had a conversation with your sister about the incident?

it has been quiet. I noticed a lot of energy release from my root chakra in the days following these changes.

I hope you continue to feel a release of "bad energy".  It can feel good to say something that you needed to say.  Would you have felt any better if mom said something like, "I'm sorry you felt the way you have about the stair incident" or would you have hoped for "I'm sorry, I was wrong, I didn't know how to react properly"?

[Starting_Over]

The odd thing is I am not mad at my sister about the incident. If my mom had apologized I would have at least felt that my feelings were validated,but she has decided to stay with my father so she is going to remain blind to everything.

Unfortunately, my sister is blind to all the anger she is holding onto, and I don't know if she will ever wake up and realize that her life could be different.

Overall, I am really excited for the energy release, and it seems like I am becoming more aware of emotions trapped in the sacral chakra. Hopefully, more energy moves

[Naughty Nibbler]

The odd thing is I am not mad at my sister about the incident. If my mom had apologized I would have at least felt that my feelings were validated,but she has decided to stay with my father so she is going to remain blind to everything.

Unfortunately, my sister is blind to all the anger she is holding onto, and I don't know if she will ever wake up and realize that her life could be different.

Overall, I am really excited for the energy release, and it seems like I am becoming more aware of emotions trapped in the sacral chakra. Hopefully, more energy moves

I'm happy for you   Keep working it with therapy, mindfulness, meditation, journaling and self-care.  You can't change them, but you that the power to change how you interact, react and what you hold onto.  You go girl