Feelings

[Larmoyant]

I feel resentful, I feel angry, I feel duped and deceived, I feel devastated, I feel ruined, I feel as if I’ve wasted the past 2.5 years, I feel lost, I feel alone, I feel scared and I feel bereft, I feel sorry for him, I feel compassionate, I feel like crying.  :'(

[Meili]

Crying can be good, it can be cathartic!

I know all of those feelings all too well. 

Did something new happen to trigger these feelings, or are the carry-over from what you've experienced?

[Larmoyant]

Crying can be good, it can be cathartic!

I know all of those feelings all too well. 

Did something new happen to trigger these feelings, or are the carry-over from what you've experienced?

Hi Meili, nothing new just a sad carry-over. I just feel mixed up trying to understand, trying to move on when all I want to do is run back to him as fast as I can. I feel resentful then compassionate, resentful then compassionate. I want to release all this pain and it's so difficult.

[Meili]

 

I do that too, cycle between resentment and compassion I mean. Of course, you and I are probably resentful about different things.

As for the trying to understand bit, I've given up on trying to understand what happened. That's the only way that I get past the resentment when it creeps in. I've accepted that what happened happened. There's no changing it now. Not allowing something similar in the future; now there's a worthy effort.

Have you found any way to shift your focus from trying to understand what happened?

I hope that you can find some calm soon.

[Larmoyant]

Thank you. I think I’m at a crossroads of some kind. The balance is tipping from focusing on him to gradually focusing on me. I believe this is what I need to be doing now, but haven’t quite got there yet. It feels new, scary and like I’ve given up on someone I loved very much.

[Meili]

More stuff that I understand. I struggled really hard with feeling like I was giving up on my x. I hope that your struggle doesn't last too long.

[JerryRG]

Larmoyant   

[Wood stock]

The "feeling like I gave up on him"... .and all of the other sadness you explain--really hits home. Thanks for helping me not feel so alone. And stupid.

[heartandwhole]

It feels new, scary and like I’ve given up on someone I loved very much.

I know the feeling well, Larmoyant.    I'm sorry you are in pain.

Feeling compassion toward others is a wonderful virtue, and remember to extend that same compassion toward yourself . Otherwise, what good can you do for others?

Please don't give up on yourself, Larmoyant. Your wellbeing is just as important as anyone else's.

heartandwhole

[Larmoyant]

heartandwhole, your words echo that of my therapist! I saw her today and she said to put me first, have compassion for myself because he doesn’t. No empathy. It’s hard to imagine someone having little empathy isn’t it? I’ve been struggling to understand this. In her 30 plus experience she said his behaviour and the emotional damage he has caused is the worst she has ever come across. I was very surprised probably because he never really hurt me physically and I tend to equate the worst abuse with the physical. She said no. Still taking it in, but I’ve decided that today is the start of having compassion for myself. Thank you.

JerryRG, Wood stock, sending hugs and support your way