A year later

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Nearly a year after breaking up with my D. BP, Schizophrenic Bpd girlfriend I received a random text message with a picture of her out partying again. The Background- we were together for three years and in the last year things became difficult when I started to encourage her to focus on self development and study in an attempt to help her become more independent and less reliant. Prior to me she had lived a very superficial life in the social scene and had not held down a job or real interest in over 15yrs. Through the challenges of trying to motivate her we started to argue on a few issues and she began lying to me and becoming quiet aggressive when I confronted her. The end began when she started painting a picture to our friends of being in an abusive relationship and called the police one day claiming she was scared of me and had me arrested for DV. After that I had her removed from my dwelling and over the next three months she threatened me repeatedly demanding compensation. I basically completely withdrew even though she completely destroyed my reputation however in the last two month Ive had three messages with pictures of her happy drunk out partying but always with some stupid # message relating to her being free or being a survivor obviously still painting her victim story. When will this ever end. I have gone through so much through this I just want to live my life free from people looking at me like Im some sort of monster. All I ever did was try to help someone who couldn't be helped and rater than end it when I realised that she wasn't what she presented herself to be I felt obligated to help. Im actually mch better I am grateful to have got away but I am surprised that she continues to try and hurt me a year on.

[Didntdeservethat]

Nearly a year after breaking up with my D. BP, Schizophrenic Bpd girlfriend I received a random text message with a picture of her out partying again. The Background- we were together for three years and in the last year things became difficult when I started to encourage her to focus on self development and study in an attempt to help her become more independent and less reliant. Prior to me she had lived a very superficial life in the social scene and had not held down a job or real interest in over 15yrs. Through the challenges of trying to motivate her we started to argue on a few issues and she began lying to me and becoming quiet aggressive when I confronted her. The end began when she started painting a picture to our friends of being in an abusive relationship and called the police one day claiming she was scared of me and had me arrested for DV. After that I had her removed from my dwelling and over the next three months she threatened me repeatedly demanding compensation. I basically completely withdrew even though she completely destroyed my reputation however in the last two month Ive had three messages with pictures of her happy drunk out partying but always with some stupid # message relating to her being free or being a survivor obviously still painting her victim story. When will this ever end. I have gone through so much through this I just want to live my life free from people looking at me like Im some sort of monster. All I ever did was try to help someone who couldn't be helped and rater than end it when I realised that she wasn't what she presented herself to be I felt obligated to help. Im actually mch better I am grateful to have got away but I am surprised that she continues to try and hurt me a year on.

[seenr]

Well you could look at it this way ……….

She is out partying, still thinking of you. So I’d be asking why that is. I’m not saying run back to her, just saying that she might not have got over you & what you offered.

[Herodias]

You end it by blocking her phone number... .something triggers a memory and she lets you know. It doesn't necessarily feel good for you.  She was just drunk, nothing will come of it. It's painful for you to see... .If you are truly done here... .block it.  Mine wrote to me last Xmas, saying "the best christmas present I ever had is your not being a part of my life, thank you"... .now how nice was that? Tells me he wasn't happy that's for sure. Yours is out getting drunk thinking about you= she is not happy. karma- take it and run.

[gotbushels]

Hi Didntdeservethat 

Getting texts well after a breakup can be quite a nuisance. That she took steps to damage your reputation amongst your friends would also make things worse. I might be angry at the same sequence of events especially after efforts to help her take care of herself with focusing on self development. It could even test me if I got such random irritation-inciting pictures from my ex a few years after my separation. I know the disturbance to life that you may be feeling.

What can you do about this situation? What do you feel is a good response for you?