hmmm

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Unblocked briefly to check her fb, i shouldn't be doing that but once in a while curiosity gets the better of me... she has again deleted her FB, strange as it actually made me feel a bit sorry for her as this indicates she is having mental meltdown from previous record, perhaps hr having no clue about my life now due t me blocking her is getting to her... not sure this is the knd of thing i expect of her... i then checked her instagram private profile screen and seen a happy picture of her and replacement in the sun... i now hate her again ... a year out and still mixed emotions

[Rickybee]

Unblocked briefly to check her fb, i shouldn't be doing that but once in a while curiosity gets the better of me... she has again deleted her FB, strange as it actually made me feel a bit sorry for her as this indicates she is having mental meltdown from previous record, perhaps hr having no clue about my life now due t me blocking her is getting to her... not sure this is the knd of thing i expect of her... i then checked her instagram private profile screen and seen a happy picture of her and replacement in the sun... i now hate her again ... a year out and still mixed emotions

[gotbushels]

I used to do a little of the same Rickybee. I understand the little bits of dislike at seeing her happy. It gets better and the mixed emotions tend to melt away. After a while it doesn't have much effect. Hang in there (with other things besides checking her social media) 

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Rickybee, Appearances can be deceiving, particularly with a pwBPD, so I would caution you about checking on your Ex via Social Media, which is inherently a "staged" window into someone's life.  LJ

[Lonely_Astro]

The mixed emotions are completely normal.  I've been out of a R/s with my ex now just under 7 months (officially) and I still have up and down moments concerning her (and us).

I was replaced within less than 2 weeks of our officially end, in reality, the process started several weeks prior to that.  So far, she's still with him.  She did, in fact, call him my replacement to my face.  So, that's revealing in its own right.

Everyone is right in saying that seeing her social feed isn't an accurate depiction of what's really going on.  I spoke to my ex on a personal level (we all work together - yay!) and while all appeared to be great with her and my replacement, it wasn't.  I wont go into details, but I will say that most likely what you see isn't what you get when it comes to them.  If your ex is like mine, she's very good at 'staying' for everyone on the outside.  You, my friend, are now on the outside.  It may look calm and peaceful on the surface - it's underneath that surface thats a raging boil of hatred and self loathing. 

[ICantFixHer]

The other weekend I saw my ex posting on Facebook about driving somewhere to see the fireworks; her car was dead that weekend, battery died. She was creating illusions of normalcy all for my benefit.

I have blocked her again and now I don't see anything she posts, which is nice. It's as if she doesn't exist.