Extreme Jealousy: my exBPD male friend didn't seem to have it with me or any oth

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

He said one day that if a girlfriend of his started flirting with someone else or became interested in someone else he would just date other people and it would be fine. Like it was changing pants or something.
If being extremely jealous is a main trait of BPD does it make him NPD instead?

[Hopefulgirl]

He said one day that if a girlfriend of his started flirting with someone else or became interested in someone else he would just date other people and it would be fine. Like it was changing pants or something.
If being extremely jealous is a main trait of BPD does it make him NPD instead?

[gotbushels]

Hi Hopefulgirl 

I don't think jealousy is a BPD trait under DSM4 or DSM5. Neither is NPD. I keep away from diagnoses--I'm not a doctor. I would shy away from combining a general dislike for someone's behaviour with pathology. Problems with going into this are that it may create victim figures, skirt the main issues, and create harmful generalisations.

If it provides some comfort, you may think of the behaviour as indicative of a level of confidence in himself. This level of confidence may belong to either a very confident person, or indeed, a narcissist by OED's definition. Example sentences (OED online) include this one:

"They are cunningly manipulative narcissists devoid of consciences."

Whether this person is healthy or not is another matter.

[asphyx]

He said one day that if a girlfriend of his started flirting with someone else or became interested in someone else he would just date other people and it would be fine. Like it was changing pants or something.
If being extremely jealous is a main trait of BPD does it make him NPD instead?

Perhaps he is just lying.

[jrharvey]

He said one day that if a girlfriend of his started flirting with someone else or became interested in someone else he would just date other people and it would be fine. Like it was changing pants or something.
If being extremely jealous is a main trait of BPD does it make him NPD instead?

Hmm that sounds more like what I would say haha. My BPD Girlfriend would NEVER say that. Oh she would probably murder someone haha. The way I see it... .If someone isn't wanting to be with me then its time to move on and find someone that does. I would be sad but I would try to push that away because no point in worrying about it.