First night out on the old social scene

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I ran into a friend today and he invited me out to an event tonight. I knew I would see several people from my wife's and my social circle there. It sounded fun but, I dunno, started talking myself out of it. I was very tired today from no sleep due to stress. What if the flying monkeys were there? What if /she/ was there?

Then I thought - if the world were perfect - if I wasn't afraid - if I could guarantee things would be fine, what would I do? The answer was, I would go. So I felt the fear - did it anyway. Reconnected with a couple friends who were very kind, supportive and were thrilled to see me because they had been concerned.

Possibly concerned due to some things said in the smear campaign against me, but I didn't address that or talk about her. There also I think was legitimate concern because I vanished completely from online and social activities for a month - necessary for me to work through this and re-calibrate myself emotionally.

All in all a nice evening and so I just wanted to pipe in and report somewhat of a success story. I use this site a lot for worry and anger dumping so it's good to share something positive as well.

(I still kept my eye on the back door exit in case I needed to make a quick escape)   

[adventurer]

I ran into a friend today and he invited me out to an event tonight. I knew I would see several people from my wife's and my social circle there. It sounded fun but, I dunno, started talking myself out of it. I was very tired today from no sleep due to stress. What if the flying monkeys were there? What if /she/ was there?

Then I thought - if the world were perfect - if I wasn't afraid - if I could guarantee things would be fine, what would I do? The answer was, I would go. So I felt the fear - did it anyway. Reconnected with a couple friends who were very kind, supportive and were thrilled to see me because they had been concerned.

Possibly concerned due to some things said in the smear campaign against me, but I didn't address that or talk about her. There also I think was legitimate concern because I vanished completely from online and social activities for a month - necessary for me to work through this and re-calibrate myself emotionally.

All in all a nice evening and so I just wanted to pipe in and report somewhat of a success story. I use this site a lot for worry and anger dumping so it's good to share something positive as well.

(I still kept my eye on the back door exit in case I needed to make a quick escape)   

[heartandwhole]

Well done, adventurer! 

Isn't it great to realize that you have the power to make decisions that are right and feel good for you, regardless of the pain that you have been through? I know it isn't comfortable in the beginning, but you reframed the situation and followed through—and benefitted from the contact with your friends. Good on ya.

That kind of support is invaluable. I'm so glad you went and connected with people who care about and enjoy being with you.

heartandwhole

[seenr]

Thanks for sharing this good news story.

I would love to be able to do this too, still early days so who knows but to know someone else here did, is good.

[atomic popsicles]

Yay adventurer!

[Ahoy]

Mate that took guts and I think you handled that really well.

First few social events I went to I kept feeling sad because I would automatically look next to me, looking to make eye contact with my ex. Mutual friends are tough too.

Absolutely it is a positive and it always warms my heart to hear little success stories. Keep fighting the good fight!

[ICantFixHer]

Congratulations, Adventurer, you are taking control of your life again and I am very happy for you. Little steps! Great work man.