Please define for me

[FallBack!Monster]

2 weeks a go, We slipped up and had sex. Felt like she was trying something different.  First time since the original break up. That's where i guess the idea and talk about maybe getting back together came from.

While in bed, I asked if she was in love with me. She said, I love you. I didn't hear here so i asked again. She repeated "I love you!".  using  same tone of voice. Like to convince herself or stand firmly on her belief.  :)on't know how to explain her tone.

Anyway, any time after the break up,  if i accused her of never actually loving me, or if i say, girl! you have no idea what love is. Or you don't love me anymore so stop it or anything like that, she'll reply with... .No that doesn't just go away like that. With a lil goofy smirk on her face but the  exact reaction Every time!  OR No! That stays!... . looks down, smiles like  a shy girl  and says, no that takes awhile. You really think that it can just go away?  I just stare at her thinking , frankly, who gives a f.    Knowing or not knowing doesn't benefit me no way.  Besides, my friends from bpdfamily says you did not love me and you are a cheat. So ha.  

Then her voice wld change suddenly and she'll come from no where and start saying that she's never been with anyone but me since we started dating.i me defending herself but I never asked.  I don't ask about if, or  who she's been with  so why she finds it important to let me tell me that, if I'm not asking and she detached? I find it weird.

[StayStrongNow]

That different voice you mentioned is exactly what my stbxBPDw had happened to her. This was a voice of a little girl perhaps 8 to 10 years old, she is 36.

The different voice occurred during her rage episodes or shortly after even after coming down to a calm state. She called me on the phone with this voice and once I recorded it. I later played it back to her and she asked "is that me?" Not only did she not remember what she said she did not recognize her own voice. I still have this recording and play it sometime to remind me how bizarre this BPD is.

I am sure there is a clinical explanation for this but I have no clue except from what she told me and my conclusion is she becomes someone else.

[VitaminC]

That different voice you mentioned is exactly what my stbxBPDw had happened to her. This was a voice of a little girl perhaps 8 to 10 years old, she is 36.

The different voice occurred during her rage episodes or shortly after even after coming down to a calm state.

Sorry, I know this isn't the point of your post - but the voice thing is something that happened to me too! It was very bizarre and kind of frightening at the time. He was angry at the time and used weird little voice to say what I guess he thought I might be thinking: " just an idiot who jumps around and acts stupid,can't control himself and can't be trusted... ."  - I don't remember what else.

When I asked him about it next day, he just shrugged his shoulders and looked away.

I thought it was severe stress - from trying to figure me and himself out all the time and walk the very fine line between doing what he thought was expected or "normal" and what he actually felt like doing in the moment.