Social Media

[OopsIDidItAgain]

My BPD ex still follows me on Instagram even though I have unfollowed her. She found a replacement within three weeks of me ending things. Good! Hope she's happy. I hear she's flaunting it all over social media by my friends who forgot to remove her. They have all since removed her. I am the only one she's following currently.

Honestly? I'm done and over this. I want her to go away but I don't think she's going to go away so easily especially since I'm not reacting to anything she's flaunting.

Will me preventing her from seeing me on Instagram only make it worse? If I make it appear I am unreachable will she show up at my house?

I want this to just go away. I'm not stupid, I'm not posting anything that makes it look like I'm flaunting anything in her face.

Any advice? I just don't want to deal with her anymore but I don't want to set anything off where she attempts to contact me. It's been a little over a month since the breakup.

[Leonis]

If you are willing to leave it all behind, just remove her from Instagram, etc. She could be set off or whatever, but just remember that it's your account and you can do whatever you want with it.

My ex blocked me on Facebook, but kept my sister and my friends' wives on her friend list. I'm thinking it's a venue for future drama. Lucky for me, my sister doesn't use her FB much and my friends' wives are more interested to see if my ex posts any bull crap about me just to send me screenshots for documentation later.

[Turkish]

I blocked my ex on Facebook while she was still living with me.  I knew that she stalked me checked my profile through one of her brothers sometimes.  I deactivated that account a little over a year ago for reasons unrelated to her.  I made a new one under our kids' names.  We have only one mutual friend,  her one brother that I like.  She sent me a friend request a month ago.  I ignored it.  She's never mentioned it,  and I certainly won't.  That's a boundary, and boundaries are about us,  not controlling the other person.  Boundaries are about aligning axons with our core values (see here for more).

It's bothering you that she is following you.  What do you feel makes you more comfortable: ignoring it,  or blocking?  One boundary is internal,  the other external.  This isn't about her,  but you.  :)o you really feel that she might escalate?  You could let it ride for a few months,  then block.  

[OopsIDidItAgain]

I can't see what she's doing and we have no more mutual connections so she has to know that none of my friends or me are following her.

I think it might be a way for her to stalk and know what I'm doing. I'm scared without that false security that she'll come back full force. This is my second rodeo with a BPD partner, the first one got help and is continuing to help herself but they come back in some way. It's that fear of abandonment.

In my experience If you take everything away from them, they come back. I don't want her to try anything while this is still new and I'm actually seeing things clearly and my own mistakes. I feel like this is me ending my codependent ways because I was able to end things without wanting to fix things or her. I saw the danger and harm and I left.

I feel like sometimes the only answers you get is "work on yourself" that's all fine and good and I am working on myself but in the same light I feel like these aren't normal breakups were someone is bitter for a few weeks and then they move on, these are sometimes people who are capable of a lot of harm and I want to know the best way to go about it without  her  thinking I abandoned her and she needs to find a way back into my life through any means she can.