The Saga Continues...

[Bright Day Mom]

Glad you are back and recharged.  Maybe things will steadily improve with a little distance between you and D?  (we can only hope).

Be well, have a bright day!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[raytamtay3]

My daughter is in contact with me in some form almost every day now.  She also friended me on Facebook... .

I asked her yesterday if she is enjoying life and she responded "yes maam".  I told her I was happy about that, but that I will never stop worrying about her. She said she knows.

I can only imagine what she's doing down there in GA as in making money.  She and her two roommates are about to rent a house there.  She sent me pictures and videos of it and it is spectacular!  She sends me pictures almost daily of her out eating at nice restaurants too.  She's living the life man!

In my fantasy and distorted world of thinking in dealing with someone with BPD or BPD or whatever she in fact does have (I think it's extreme impulse control related personally), she is going to be ok even if she's choosing to live the "escort" life.  If that is in fact true, at least she's a high priced one.  Isn't that sick to even say? But I had a cousin who use to be a hooker on the streets of Atlantic City.  I do not think DD would ever put herself in a position to have a pimp, because she is far too controlling and independent and would not allow anyone to dictate her life.  Which is evident by her persistence on being able to be on her own from me (authority figure) all these years... .

I can only hope she remains safe, is well aware of the risks involved all around in that "field", and doesn't allow it to be her life forever.  At I told her, I will always worry about her.  And I will always love her no matter what.

[Bright Day Mom]

Thank your lucky stars that she's communicating daily; that's a relief right there.

Your continued support is paramount and her knowing you'll always love, worry for her is great.  We mom's worry too damn much, can't tell you how many grays have popped up lately, but that's what color is for!

[Yepanotherone]

Hang on in there Ray and try to enjoy the time you have for yourself now . She's chosen her path and while it's not one you would have chosen for her , at least she seems to be okay . Now is YOUR time to start sleeping properly at night and recharge . Start to live your own life again xxx

[raytamtay3]

Hi everyone.  Just checking in.  :)D has been calling me a lot to get advice on certain things from medical related things as well as relationship type things.  She really is telling me a lot now.  Part of me does not want to hear so much about her way of life right now (told me how her boyfriend is in a gang, etc.,), but I listen, do not criticize and validate her feelings.  

She still contends she works at a diner, but obviously I know that is false and I no longer bring it up.  I try not to think too much about what she's really doing for money because it gives me extreme anxiety... .

I did have to tell her the other day that I am her mother and if I see things that I feel could have a negative impact on her that I am still going to talk to her about it.  She said ok and that she wants me to    I said it's ultimately up to her now to do what she will with what I have to say.  The other day she and her friend were on Facebook live talking about how they just got paid and holding up around $1,000 in $50s and $100 bills.  My DD friends anyone who requests her.  So she has about 100 "friends".  I explained to her the danger of doing stuff like that I she seemed like she got it.  We shall see... . We plant the seed and hope it grows as my mom always says.

I am still and will always be extremely worried about her.  But yes, she has chosen her path.  It was just a matter if now or when she turned 18.  Either way it would have results in the same thing.  So while I still struggle with my decision not to try and pursue other means to get her back, I feel I did what I needed to do not only for others in our house, but for her because I simply could not keep locking her away.  It killed me!

I have been telling her to never ever think she is stuck and has nowhere to go or has to resort to certain things to survive.  I told her my door will always be open to her and she could come home anytime.  I even told her I would help her work out the legality issues if need be... .

While I admit I am not a religious person myself, I do appreciate when those who are pray for my daughter.  I need all the help I can get!  

Our relationship is obviously much better because she got what she always wanted - to be free and do whatever she wants to do.

I hope everyone is doing well.  I haven't really had the time to read through posts, but please know you all are in my thoughts.

[Kwamina]

Hi raytamtay3

I've hopped over from Coping & Healing again. Thanks for the update. It is what it is as we often say on Coping & Healing. We do the best we can do, it would have been nicer if the results were different, but you've done the best you could do and perhaps now is indeed the time to let go a bit. Though you will always be her mother so I think it is natural that you haven't completely let go of her.

I have been telling her to never ever think she is stuck and has nowhere to go or has to resort to certain things to survive.  I told her my door will always be open to her and she could come home anytime.  I even told her I would help her work out the legality issues if need be... .

I think it is great that you told her this. She is free to do whatever she wants now, you are not here to rescue her but by saying this do clearly signal that you will always be there for her. Although the situation isn't ideal, perhaps this is the best thing you can do for her now, just show her you care and let go of everything else.

Take care

The Board Parrot

[Yepanotherone]

Well I for one Ray , think you have done an absolutely astounding job with your DD , if only I possessed a shred of your patience ! use this time now to find yourself again . What will be will be x