Taking off my ring?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I have the last few days been fiddling with my wedding/engagement rings either more or I'm noticing it more. It's crossed my mind to take them off. Especially before Monday's protective order hearing. I have no interest in dating or being available. It's too soon. But I also feel like this is a symbol of attachment I don't want to feel. Any others struggle with this? Thoughts?

[uniquename]

I have the last few days been fiddling with my wedding/engagement rings either more or I'm noticing it more. It's crossed my mind to take them off. Especially before Monday's protective order hearing. I have no interest in dating or being available. It's too soon. But I also feel like this is a symbol of attachment I don't want to feel. Any others struggle with this? Thoughts?

[fromheeltoheal]

Oh yes, wedding and engagement rings are strong symbols that hold a lot of significance.  Taking the rings off is a symbolic gesture of breaking a bond, severing and attachment, and it's also a freeing, a lightening of the load, like we don't need to carry those around anymore.  As with all things, it's what we make it mean.  What are you going to do with them after you take them off unique, something else that also holds meaning?

[michel71]

That is a tough one. It is so symbolic to take it off and not wear it again. I have tried that a few times and I am just not ready. My finger feels naked without it and we are still married so... .not going to take it off until I am comfortable. When I do I was thinking of replacing it with another ring... .a band... .not of gold but of titanium. It will be a symbol of the bond I have with myself... .to love myself and not put somebody else's needs over mine again. I will engrave something poignant on it. AND YES, I will wear it on my left hand as a commitment to MYSELF.
I don't plan on marrying again (not out of bitterness, just for legal protection) so I don't care if somebody sees it and thinks I am married.

[StayStrongNow]

I smashed my ring with a hammer. Being a tungsten carbide ring it smashed into small pieces.

[SamwizeGamgee]

I only rarely wore (wear) my wedding ring.  I have had rough and tumble careers, and a ring itself is a liability, so I never got in the habit.  I would wear it on special occasions, or when dressed up, or going out.  Now, my work days are more civil, but, I still don't wear a ring.  I can't seem to want to do it at all now. 

I noticed last year my wife took her rings off. At first she left them prominently on the sink where I could see, and notice that she wasn't wearing them. Eventually, they disappeared.  I'm not sure where hers are, mine is stowed where it's been most of the time. 

She did say that she usually didn't wear them during some parts of summer because her finger swelled up, but, I can't remember the details.  I kind of get the idea that she had tried firing back at me for not wearing mine.   

I wonder if our marriage is like a zombie, dead, but still walking around like nothing's wrong. 
With rings as a symbol, maybe so.  We just don't admit it.

[uniquename]

I went without today. I still fiddled with the area but it felt better to be fiddling without it there than with. I think it did feel like a burden I was carrying when I fiddled with it on. Now it is a detachment to get used to. I put it in a ring box on my dresser. Not ready for more than that yet. It's only been a little over 2 months.

[SES]

Months later it still feels weird not to wear my wedding ring.  She gave me back her wedding ring and engagement ring on our wedding anniversary 2014, when she was on her way out of our home to meet her affair partner... .I haven't worn my ring since.  I had planned to sell hers, but I lost them... .probably a fitting end to them.  My ring... .went in the bin... .another fitting ending.  

She has since asked for her rings back more than once!

[kc sunshine]

I let mine go in the ocean. That very same day (a few hours later) she texted to let me know she had started  seeing someone seriously. What a strange coincidence!

[uniquename]

One thing I didn't think through: I haven't "gone public" with being separated so only certain people know. I wonder how observant people are. A neighbor casually asked me Thursday night why uBPDH wasn't at 16D's play that night. I said he couldn't make it. So it can make me a little self-conscious someone might notice now and ask but --- no one has!