After 4 years

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Well, last week I was driving my car to home, speaking at the phone. My wife warned me that another car was following us, I ignored this warning. In front of my house that car stopped trying to block my way forward. I recognised my ex's registration number and her car. Then, surprise, my ex wanted to alight from the car, hesitated, spoked with another person in the car then went gone quickly.

We have not talked for 4 years, we live in different cities, no contact at all. So, I wanted to be clear, I used her old phone number and send a picture of my kid. She congratulated me for having a lovely boy and then, bang!, " What do you want from me?". "Nothing, I said, you stalked me, I just want you to stop it, I have a kid now". She responded "Perfect, fair well" and then she deleted her whatsapp profile...

This is BPD... .

[Anra]

Well, last week I was driving my car to home, speaking at the phone. My wife warned me that another car was following us, I ignored this warning. In front of my house that car stopped trying to block my way forward. I recognised my ex's registration number and her car. Then, surprise, my ex wanted to alight from the car, hesitated, spoked with another person in the car then went gone quickly.

We have not talked for 4 years, we live in different cities, no contact at all. So, I wanted to be clear, I used her old phone number and send a picture of my kid. She congratulated me for having a lovely boy and then, bang!, " What do you want from me?". "Nothing, I said, you stalked me, I just want you to stop it, I have a kid now". She responded "Perfect, fair well" and then she deleted her whatsapp profile...

This is BPD... .

[Fr4nz]

... .they will come back, at some point! :D

[Anra]

Not coming back, passing by. There is a difference between those two

[Reforming]

I think it's actually a bit sad - though I can appreciate that you might feel very differently Anra

It seems a bit contradictory but some experts believe that people with BPD really struggle to process loss. They appear to move on immediately but they never really deal with the end of a relationship and can end up kind of stuck.

She may have been travelling through your area and decided to act on impulse. You mentioned that she wasn't alone which isn't typical stalking behaviour

Reforming

[Anra]

@Reforming

You are right, I bet it was an impulse. For age 27 is strange to do such kind of actions. But I wanted to be sure this "encounter" will not be a trigger for something more. BPD is very sensitive at triggers and once activated, tiggers can be the source to many uncontrolled actions. I like my life how it is.

[Reforming]

I hear you and I can totally understand why you want to assert a clear boundary with her.

Impulsiveness is one strongest traits of BPD - along with hypersensitivity. As I said it's sad but you deserve to have the space to live in your life in peace and happiness. Hopefully she can learn to do the same.

Thanks for sharing and very best to your family

Reforming

[Anra]

I do not mind to stay in a limited contact with my former relationships, after all it is my past, or at least a part of it. She is the only person I could not keep a natural connection.

Messages after the that "meeting" were strange, as if the relationship would have ended just in that moment, a combination of aggressivity and sorrow.