Mind Blowing

[JerryRG]

Hello everyone

I couldn't sleep last night so I started watching YouTube videos about BPD and NPD, and WOW, I found a short video that pretty much answers 99% of the questions that still haunt me about the relationship with my BPD ex.

I won't post a link until I have permission from the administrators.

The video was presented by Richard Grannon, I've watched him many times, I'm no expert on BPD or any other disorder so I can only speak for myself.

If this video isn't appropriate for bpdfamily I'm willing to send it through personal messages if that's allowed.

Have a great day everyone, keep moving forward

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi Jerry-

It's very good that you're searching for information on the disorders; there is a lot of good info on this site too.  It will provide information for other members, and also help you integrate the info, if you were to summarize what you learned from the video and how it applies to your situation; can you do that here?

[JerryRG]

Thank you fromheeltoheal

I'm not very good at explaining and I would be happy to try, I have to leave for a while so it will have to wait a bit.

Thanks again!

[fromheeltoheal]

I'm not very good at explaining and I would be happy to try, I have to leave for a while so it will have to wait a bit.

OK, and try anyway, it will be helpful, and we'll follow up later.

[fromheeltoheal]

OK Jerry, it's been about 6 hours since you mentioned you'd try and summarize what you learned from that video and how it applies to your situation, and I see that you're online; can you give us a summary now?

[JerryRG]

I apologize

I drove to visit family and I leave myself online all the time, not sure this is appropriate.

Ok, the video title is Don't get fooled again.

[JerryRG]

Point one?

We're you raised buy emotionally abusive people?
Were you punished for standing up for yourself?
Did you witness them abusing each other?

If so, 2 points:

You may be addicted to emotionally abuse people.

You may have traits of "people pleasing"

If so you may find yourself bullied by people more frequently than the average person

If you fall into this catagory you may be overly conscientious and worry about upsetting people

(This one explains my main issue)

We may become neurological naive to abuse.

Brb, have to eat, at my birthday party

Please forgive me... .

[fromheeltoheal]

Nice Jerry, good for you for taking that out of the video and seeing where it fits for you.  That process of shifting your focus from your ex to you and digging into those issues is detachment, and will help you a great deal.

[JerryRG]

Well anyway I didn't describe the video very well, it does help me understand that something blocks me from accepting the truth about how abusive our relationship was. I have no other explanation for what I'm experiencing.

There are certain people I dissociate with, one therapist I worked with seemed to bring this out of me, I would close my eyes in her office and go completely numb. Like floating on a cloud. Didn't really lose time though.

I have never had answers for this