Hi Luckyclover,
What trigger them?
From what I've learned about borderline (which countries calls this "mermaid syndrome?" I think that is clever) personality disorder (BPD), feelings of family, closeness and intimacy are all triggers for people with BPD (pwBPD). So this is why, in the beginning, there are not so many triggers. Because in the beginning, you are not too close, too intimacy, not yet like family. But when you spend more time with them, then you get more and more triggers.
Why and what let this happen that they just dony care and are totally diffrent persone when the wake up one day. The maybe were planning our marrige evening before but all gone day after.
In the U.S. one of the criteria for the diagnosis of BPD is "identity disturbance" which means for pwBPD identity or personality may not be stable. Sometimes when pwBPD are with different persons, they become (also) different persons. And in your case, one day she was planning your marriage (very close, very intimate, very familial) and that becomes a trigger for fear, fear that you will *abandon* her (even only in her imagination). Then suddenly, she believes she must leave you before you leave her. And so she becomes a "totally different person."
1. I had a small car accident. Just went off the road did not hurt myself or the car. But did not tell her untill day after and she was mad about it that i did not tell her earlyer beacuse i could have died.
For pwBPD, even dying is like abandonment. If you die, you leave her. So because you almost die. She believes you almost left her, almost abandoned her. So she got triggered.
2. She had new girl friend and liked her alot just day after they meet for first time. Could she have change her somehow.
Brand new friend means no triggers. So she likes to be with people who do not trigger her. And being with different persons, means she becomes different person.
3. We called often and one time she called and i could not talk beacuse i was in small party in my work but could talk one hour later.
Another quality of pwBPD is "lack of object constancy" which almost means no emotional memory. So when you are near her, she can see you and see that you love her. But, when she cannot see you, she does not remember that you love her and always needs reminders. This is why she sometimes calls you and needs to hear your voice. Because something triggered her fear, and she cannot remember your love. And if you do not remind her, then believes you will leave her, you will abandon her. So before you leave her, she leaves you first.
This all happend close to the day she changed to not like me any more. What do you think? What triggers?
I think all of these are possible triggers. I hope what I write helps you.
Best wishes,
Schwing
