Feeling ok, dreams suggest otherwise.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hey gang,

I recently posted about strange feelings that preceded my ex getting in touch, and it helped me to know I wasn't the only one, so just wanted to see if the wider BPD family has experienced my latest peculiarity.

I largely feel ok. Pretty good. I'm happy with my single life, I've got good routines going, and I absolutely do not pine for my ex in the slightest anymore. I feel like I've finally got to that wonderful place of ambivalence. I don't particularly want to see her, but if I bumped in to her I'd just say a quick hi and be on my merry way.

However, I've had some strange dreams recently that suggest that she still 'infects' me somehow. One a couple of weeks ago she seduced me, before literally trying to kill me (there's a definite meaning there). One last night was about my replacement (I don't know what he looks like) although in my dream I pictured him as an undesirable, and spent the dream frantically trying to convince her he was wrong for her. Our dead cat also popped up in the dream (although I am still sad about it).

There's obviously still things that I'm dealing with internally, I'm just surprised that I had such an intense dream about my replacement, someone who I do genuinely sorry for. The mind is such a peculiar thing. I woke up and scalded myself for having such a stupid dream!

Has anyone else experienced such vivid, intense dreams about their exes, when by all accounts you feel like you've left it all behind?

[duncsvoice]

Hey gang,

I recently posted about strange feelings that preceded my ex getting in touch, and it helped me to know I wasn't the only one, so just wanted to see if the wider BPD family has experienced my latest peculiarity.

I largely feel ok. Pretty good. I'm happy with my single life, I've got good routines going, and I absolutely do not pine for my ex in the slightest anymore. I feel like I've finally got to that wonderful place of ambivalence. I don't particularly want to see her, but if I bumped in to her I'd just say a quick hi and be on my merry way.

However, I've had some strange dreams recently that suggest that she still 'infects' me somehow. One a couple of weeks ago she seduced me, before literally trying to kill me (there's a definite meaning there). One last night was about my replacement (I don't know what he looks like) although in my dream I pictured him as an undesirable, and spent the dream frantically trying to convince her he was wrong for her. Our dead cat also popped up in the dream (although I am still sad about it).

There's obviously still things that I'm dealing with internally, I'm just surprised that I had such an intense dream about my replacement, someone who I do genuinely sorry for. The mind is such a peculiar thing. I woke up and scalded myself for having such a stupid dream!

Has anyone else experienced such vivid, intense dreams about their exes, when by all accounts you feel like you've left it all behind?

[bus boy]

In the past I've had dreams of my ex wife. In my dreams, they were always the same. She would hold me, kiss me on the lips and tell me she loves me. The next day I would wake up very confused and in a strange state of mind for most of the day. I don't have those dreams anymore. I think it was my inner desires to hear those words from her. For the 12 years I knew her she never gave me one compliment or told me she loved me. Sorry, she did say something nice to me about my character 2 times, but that was at the expense of insulting my family.

[gotbushels]

Hi duncsvoice 

I largely feel ok. Pretty good. I'm happy with my single life, I've got good routines going, and I absolutely do not pine for my ex in the slightest anymore. I feel like I've finally got to that wonderful place of ambivalence. I don't particularly want to see her, but if I bumped in to her I'd just say a quick hi and be on my merry way.

Well done duncsvoice. I think searching for peace and consistency is a good step. 

However, I've had some strange dreams recently that suggest that she still 'infects' me somehow. One a couple of weeks ago she seduced me, before literally trying to kill me (there's a definite meaning there).
(... .)
I woke up and scalded myself for having such a stupid dream!

Well my ex wanted to burn me in real life. She also had a strong interest in sharp objects. I follow your pun/humour, but for reality's sake--inflicting harm is a criminal offence in some areas.