Something concerning about my son

[JerryRG]

Hello everyone

I have a question about my sons behaviour, he spent last weekend with his mother. I've had him for about a month prior to last weekend. He's always cooperative with me about baths and he actually wants more than our typical once a day routine.

Last night I couldn't get my son to bathe and he screamed while removing his clothes, fought me and cried all during the bath and after. The only thing that calmed him was me redressing him completely, even wearing his shoes to bed.

He did calm down after he was in bed and I was able to remove his shoes and shorts. He slept very well.

This is unusual behaviour for my son and the only thing that has changed is that he spent last weekend with his mother, I don't wish to alarm anyone, I don't know what to do or who to talk to about this.

He kept screaming out "mommy" he acted like he didn't trust me or he didn't seek my comfort.

I have witnessed his mother abuse him in the past, I am upset and want answers.

I was sexually abused as a child, I will not tolerate my son being harmed or frightened from anyone.

[flourdust]

Your son is 2, right? This is the age at which you can expect him to start becoming more contrary, difficult, and quick to melt down. A change in routine (moving from household to household) can trigger these meltdowns, but that doesn't mean anything bad has happened.

(FYI, you can expect the contrary/difficult phase to end around, oh, age 35 or so... .) 

[JerryRG]

Thank you flourdust

I know I may be overreacting but in my defence I've seen his mother in complete psychosis. It is very frightening and it does concern our sons health.

The last time this occured was a few months ago, same behaviour with our son, terrified of his bath. I don't trust his mother, I have no reason to trust her.

Thanks again flourdust

[Kowalski]

I've had problems with my own son who is going to be 3 in December along the same lines. He lacks the words to communicate how he's feeling.

I highly recommend "Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child" by John Gottman, PhD, which talks about emotion coaching. It's been very helpful with my son and has helped us bond closer. It's not a fix-all, but it has helped a great deal.