Still Figuring This Out

[colorfysunshine]

I've only posted here once before, and I'm not entirely sure why I haven't come back. My original post was in regards to my fiancé (now my wife). We have certainly had our ups and downs and our relationship can be very tumultuous. I have started reading a bit more about BPD and I think that I myself have a great deal of characteristics of BPD. I have never been diagnosed, and I am obviously not a qualified person to say so, but I feel like since my relationship with my wife began these characteristics of my own personality have begun to show. Is this something common? I am a 30 year old woman, and have always had issues with anxiety, depression, and was diagnosed with PTSD following a suicide attempt by my wife. I just feel like some days we are both pushing each other's buttons and making one another crazy. While she has little to sex drive I am the opposite and this is a MAJOR point of contention with us. I could certainly use some insight!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[livednlearned]

Hi colorfysunshine,

Welcome back 

I think it's common for those of us in BPD relationships to get pulled down to the lowest skill level, especially if we had difficult family of origins where we were exposed to similar behaviors.

PTSD, depression, anxiety would probably make you even more susceptible. It takes a lot of strength to not be emotionally injured by someone with BPD. The key is to raise the skill-level and that can requires effort and commitment to change.

What happens when you both push each other's buttons?