She really is pregnant.

[Leonis]

I went with my ex to her ob/gyn appointment on Wednesday. She wasn't lying. She really is pregnant. In fact, she is 13 weeks along, which the timing correlates.

What's even more surprising was that she didn't throw a fit as I thought she might when I didn't show up with the wedding band and asked about paternity test. She only voiced that she'd rather have it done at birth.

We discussed about custody further. So far, she's agreed to do what's best for the baby and whatever it is necessary for me to have a relationship with the child. She went as far as saying that she'd even move to the state where my future employment will be when I finish PA school. She told me that she decided to not abort the child after personally visiting the clinic, etc.

Overall, it was a surreal experience to see what is most likely my child in the ultrasound.

Of course, this will not stop me from doing some legal research and make the proper preparations in case she changes her mind.

As far as I know, none of her family members know and she's only comfortable of letting one of her younger sisters (the one living with her bf, they are no in Ohio) know about it. Her family would just have to wait until after the baby is born. She said that she's given up trying to have a relationship with her abusive mother and believes this child would be a chance to build trust again.

I no longer know where exactly my life is going.

[heartandwhole]

Wow, Leonis,

That is a life-changing event for you. Your exgf seemed very calm and level-headed about the situation.

How do you feel?

believes this child would be a chance to build trust again.

Is this referring to your relationship or something else?

heartandwhole

[Leonis]

How do you feel?

believes this child would be a chance to build trust again.

Is this referring to your relationship or something else?

I don't know. It was surreal looking at the ultrasound.

As far as I know, she meant her trust issues. She can't see us being married or as a couple for the most part.

The calmness, was something that really surprised me. I know she is not diagnosed with BPD, but showed a lot of traits for it. It made me wonder if I made myself believe she could have it or have tendencies of the said disorder. Or maybe this is a wake up call. I don't know.

I would have much rather had none of the breakup happened and us married to be honest.

[maddy786]

Be very carefull if you are going with a baby, may be she wants a baby to lock you up for life. Bewareee buddy... .

[gotbushels]

There's some truth to what you said maddy786. Some people aren't often put in a position to see this sort of logic, possibly moreso for partners of pwBPDs.

[Leonis]

Be very carefull if you are going with a baby, may be she wants a baby to lock you up for life. Bewareee buddy... .

Well, I'm taking legal steps to get joint-custody and the paternity test as soon as the child is born.

I feel that by allowing her to have full custody, that just sets the groundwork for at least future emotional and financial blackmail. The paternity test will make sure it is indeed mine.

[Leonis]

Of course... .stupid me still end up sleeping with her.

[heartandwhole]

Of course... .stupid me still end up sleeping with her.

What happened, Leonis?

[Leonis]

What happened, Leonis?

It's a detail I didn't include on my last post. It actually happened on the same day.

But yeah, the next appointment is on the 29th of this month.