Started feeling so sad about the NC

[eprogeny]

Ugh. I started feeling like I should text her.  I felt so sad about everything.  Knowing she couldn't text me - and wishing that she could sometimes, it was driving me batty... .so I picked up my phone and deleted our text history and her contact information without 2nd guessing myself. 

I can't text her at all when I start to waffle on the NC decision, now, and man, I'm so glad for that.I feel so much better right now, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 

And for the first time ever, I actually feel like I'm just over her.  God I hope this lasts.

[JerryRG]

I understand what you're going through. Someone said that everytime we go back we lose part of ourselves. I couldn't agree more. It's in one of the newer posts.

No matter what my heart says I cannot go back or pretend she's changed. I used to just run back to her and then wake up in the nightmare and wonder how I got there.

Now I think, just maybe one day she will be healthy enough to begin to understand relationships. I won't wait for her to get well, it may never happen.

No Contact or limited contact saved me, it was difficult and still us, but I have to do what's right, in spite of my emotions.

Time for me to grow up

[unsureuncertain]

Glad you made it easier on yourself. Going NC is difficult and I applaud your efforts to make it better for you.

[petedrexler]

Totally get it. NC is a killer. But it has also saved me. When it gets really hard, I text myself what I would text her. Sometimes that helps. Just wanted to say I get it.

[kc sunshine]

I'm feeling so sad as well. She went NC on me about a month ago. I've been good about not attempting to contact her but every once in a while I still fall down the rabbit hole and check her social media. These relationships are so hard.

[VitaminC]

I can't text her at all when I start to waffle on the NC decision, now, and man, I'm so glad for that.I feel so much better right now, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 

And for the first time ever, I actually feel like I'm just over her.  God I hope this lasts.

Good for you, eprogeny. You took a decisive action there, for your own benefit. That's the way to go.

It might or might not "last". But remember, if you get the sads or the urge to reach out, that these are just feelings (although hugely powerful) and that they will pass. I'm going to quote   heartandwhole again, from another thread, because I feel it's such a useful thing to think about this:

"Often, when we want to avoid feeling something uncomfortable, we go for the quick relief of contact/looking/connecting. Give yourself a few moments of deep breaths and DO NOTHING. The urge will pass and you will have given yourself much needed care and attention."