Question about chronic illness

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Hello everyone

Short story, sons mother was going to pick our son today and have him for a while, said maybe 3 weeks.

Got a text this morning around 4am, she's having more serious health issues. I don't know how things changed so quickly. Talking about MRSA going into her bones, her left arm and legs numb, she thinks she's dying.

I asked her to not inform me of her illnesses but she made a new gmail account and sent this all to me anyway. Pastor thinks she just trying to get an emotional reaction out of me, wear me down or whatever.

Question is, she seems to be chronically ill, is this common for pwBPD, is there a general class of BPD with this feature? I mean sick every day, fake cancer and other deadly illnesses that can be fatal and then nothing comes of it?

Do these symptoms get well? Or are they chronic and permanent unless they get help?

Another question, it there a brief description of BPD that I could send my sons grandmother so she could grasp the real situation? She has detached but she don't think her daughter is seriously mentally ill and not safe for our son to be around until she gets help.

Could it be projection or mirroring me for my cancer?

Could emotional distress be so great it manifest itself as physical pain or illness?

I have no idea what's really going on, never have actually. She was in constant pain and then became addicted to prescription pain pills and now it's transitioning into actual things like cancer, lupus and now MRSA.

[JerryRG]

Hello everyone

Short story, sons mother was going to pick our son today and have him for a while, said maybe 3 weeks.

Got a text this morning around 4am, she's having more serious health issues. I don't know how things changed so quickly. Talking about MRSA going into her bones, her left arm and legs numb, she thinks she's dying.

I asked her to not inform me of her illnesses but she made a new gmail account and sent this all to me anyway. Pastor thinks she just trying to get an emotional reaction out of me, wear me down or whatever.

Question is, she seems to be chronically ill, is this common for pwBPD, is there a general class of BPD with this feature? I mean sick every day, fake cancer and other deadly illnesses that can be fatal and then nothing comes of it?

Do these symptoms get well? Or are they chronic and permanent unless they get help?

Another question, it there a brief description of BPD that I could send my sons grandmother so she could grasp the real situation? She has detached but she don't think her daughter is seriously mentally ill and not safe for our son to be around until she gets help.

Could it be projection or mirroring me for my cancer?

Could emotional distress be so great it manifest itself as physical pain or illness?

I have no idea what's really going on, never have actually. She was in constant pain and then became addicted to prescription pain pills and now it's transitioning into actual things like cancer, lupus and now MRSA.

[Kowalski]

It's been written elsewhere with much better words than I can convey, but there is a huge connection between the mind and the body. All the turmoil and hell inside the mind of someone with BPD that they keep locked up inside has to come out somewhere, and it stands to reason that it would manifest itself in the body somehow.

My own UstbxPDw had a large number of health issues that in retrospect were signs of the turmoil inside her.

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi Jerry-

Question is, she seems to be chronically ill, is this common for pwBPD, is there a general class of BPD with this feature? I mean sick every day, fake cancer and other deadly illnesses that can be fatal and then nothing comes of it?

Living with the disorder is difficult, and that can manifest as physical symptoms; think about going through an especially stressful time and then getting a cold or the flu, same thing, our immune systems are compromised by stress.  Also, going to medical professionals could meet a borderline's need for attachment on some level, plus if they've got narcissistic traits, being given all the attention by medical professionals, nurses, assistants and all that provides narcissistic supply.

Another question, it there a brief description of BPD that I could send my sons grandmother so she could grasp the real situation? She has detached but she don't think her daughter is seriously mentally ill and not safe for our son to be around until she gets help.

There's plenty of info on this site, it would be good to read it all yourself, and while you may not want to send the grandmother here because you fear your anonymity, you could print what ever you find appropriate.  But also consider that you are not a mental health professional and neither are we, and it's not advised to throw out amateur diagnoses of serious mental illnesses; hearing you have a mental illness would be hard to hear for anyone, and as we know it's not about the diagnosis for us anyway, it's about the behaviors and how they affect us, although learning a little about the clinical side can help eliminate confusion.  It would also be good to look at your motivation for educating the grandmother; I know your son's well being is the main one, and are there any others?  Like possibly some validation and getting an ally?

[JerryRG]

Thank you fromheeltoheal

What happens is, and this is my opinion only, grandmother has seen daughters behaviours for many many years and I believe she's desensitized to it. I show people the texts and emails my son's mother sends me and most if not all are horrified and beg me to remove him from his mother and keep him away.

Grandmother says she understands but at certain times she just dismisses the behaviour as control, and that she's not a danger. Then expresses the fact her daughter shouldn't be trusted. My hope is to help her realize her daughter is seriously ill. I have seen my exgf become pshychotic and see and hear things.

This is always a potential problem again and I believe an extreme danger to our son. Part of her behavior is attention seeking, I've seen her completely out of touch with reality.

[love4meNOTu]

Hi Jerry-

MRSA is extremely contagious and is especially dangerous for people who are undergoing chemotherapy and young children. I think that it's time to take the evidence that you have to children services in your state and File for primary custody of your son.

In court your ex will have to prove that she is fit to be your child's parent. This will uncover the truth about her health and the truth about yours.

I wish you the best in your journey. Time to focus on your health and your son. Please help yourself and stop concerning yourself with the next insane thing your ex will do. She will always be crazy, but you will not always be sick.

[JerryRG]

Thank you love4meNOTu

I'm going to call CPS tomorrow, didn't have time today.

She says the MRSA isn't infectious and it's spreading inside her body. Again, no way to verify anything.