Suicide Threats

[No Peace]

I have a 20 year old son who has had several mental illness diagnoses.  He has severe anxiety and depression, but also has many characteristics of BPD.  He is very manipulative most of the time.  My biggest concern now is he talks more and more about suicide.  He no longer lives with me and gets very little support from SS Disability.  He has a problem with cutting and has overdosed on prescription medication in the past.  He tells me all the time that he does not want to live and that he is suicidal.  The problem is that most of the time he seems to be crying wolf to get my attention or something else that he wants or thinks he needs.  I cannot go and check on him every time he feels depressed.  I can't even talk to him on the phone every time.  He does see a psychiatrist and is on medication, when he takes it.  He also drinks alcohol and smokes pot.  So, he also gets very little financial support from me.  My fear is that one day he may actually commit suicide and I will feel like I did not do everything humanly possible to save him.  HELP!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome No Peace:    

I'm so sorry that your son deals with suicidal thoughts.  Sounds like he might be inconsistent in taking him meds.  Do you think it is because he just forgets, or could it be issues with side effects? How often does he see his psychiatrist?  Does he meet with a psychologist between times? 

When someone in your life deals with suicidal thoughts, you have to take it seriously, even if they have seemed to bluff in the past.

The information at the link below can be helpful, when someone in your life deals with suicidal thoughts.   Has your son ever called/texted a suicide hotline?  It would be good if he had some emergency numbers in his phone.  That way, it would be easier for him to use in an emergency.  The one link below is for texting for crisis support.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS SUPPORT
       https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety_first.pdf

The website below is a selfhelp website for DBT Therapy.  It is a type of therapy commonly used for people with BPD.  The page that the link takes you to is a helpful list of things to do for distress tolerance.  It should be helpful for your sister, if she is open to learning some skills.

PANIC LIST FOR DISTRESS TOLERANCE
   www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/panic_list.html

TEXT CRISIS LINE
www.crisistextline.org/how-it-works/

[Mutt]

Hi No Peace,



I'd like to join Naughty Nibbler and welcome you. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I can see how emotionally distressing and depleting this would feel. I'm glad that you decided to join us. You're not alone.

The information at the link below can be helpful, when someone in your life deals with suicidal thoughts.   Has your son ever called/texted a suicide hotline?  It would be good if he had some emergency numbers in his phone.

I'm just guessing that he could call his P during office hours and he can get in touch with a compassionate person on the phone 24 / 7. How is your support network? Can you turn to family and friends for support during a time of crisis?

[Bright Day Mom]

No Peace I join the others in welcoming you to the BPD Fam.  Over the course of many months, I have found tremendous help and support and I hope you do too!

I agree with the other posts that suicidal threats need to be taken extremely seriously.  Unfortunately one of my D16 friends completed nearly a 1-1/2 yrs ago and it sent my girl in a tailspin... .she is currently in residential placement.

I know you are somewhat limited due to your son's age, but med compliance and continual therapy are so important.  From what I understand from my D is that the suicidal thoughts are horrifying, often everlasting and real.  She used to cut too and thankfully it has been 8 months clean (YAYYY)!  It has taken lots of therapy, learning of skills, medication, family participation to get to this point.  It can be done, but HE has to want it.  Let him know he can live a peaceful life and he deserves that and you will be there to help him along the way.  If he does have BPD, he may have a severe fear of abandonment.

If you aren't already, try seeing a therapist on your own; it is a long road and it would be made easier if you had someone to lean on.