Get Out of My Dreams (No Billy Ocean, not into my car either)

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Had my final therapy session with my T and my third and final visit to the psychiatrist last week.

T says I could continue if I want to explore building better relationships, but that he feels I've made enough progress that we're at the point where I'm as ready as I'm gonna be to go back out into the world as an eligible bachelor (Gee, thanks. Yay or something).  Psychiatrist had the initial visit to screen me, then second visit to put me on an anti-depressant; this last visit I was taken off my anti-depressant and told the same thing independently of my T.

One lingering thing, though, and both my T and the doctor have given me the same answer, but I'm curious as to others' experiences.

I continue to dream about my wife every night.  Not some nights.  Not 6/7 nights.  Every night.  I brought this up to both, and independently of each other both suggested this was a normal part of the grieving process, as my dreams almost always occur in the future, where none of this happened or it happened but we reconciled and moved forward.

Last night I had a very long dream - I'm sure in real time it was only a few seconds - but it was one of those dreams that was a short story during the course of the dream.  Wifey came by work and took me to lunch, I decided to play hooky for the rest of the day and we went to "our place" on the beach, made dinner for the children together, wound up sleeping together, and I awoke as I was falling asleep in my dream.  It was in the future but she looked as she had years ago the first time she surprised me at the office, and my attraction level to her was as high as ever.

In some ways, this is a vast improvement given that I don't dream about her multiple times - I remember once in the first few weeks after she left dreaming about her nine times in one night; at that time my T encouraged me to keep a diary of my dreams so keeping count was easy; I stopped recording those dreams when my T suggested doing so was actually becoming counterproductive - and I don't wake up experiencing panic attacks any more, but she is with me every night.

For those of you with similar experiences, when did the dreams go away?  Or at least subside? It's been suggested to me that I may always dream about her, even if the frequency of the dreams subsides, but that seems like hell given that she will no longer be a part of my life.  Just thinking out loud and wondering how any of you all got through it.

[Icanteven]

Had my final therapy session with my T and my third and final visit to the psychiatrist last week.

T says I could continue if I want to explore building better relationships, but that he feels I've made enough progress that we're at the point where I'm as ready as I'm gonna be to go back out into the world as an eligible bachelor (Gee, thanks. Yay or something).  Psychiatrist had the initial visit to screen me, then second visit to put me on an anti-depressant; this last visit I was taken off my anti-depressant and told the same thing independently of my T.

One lingering thing, though, and both my T and the doctor have given me the same answer, but I'm curious as to others' experiences.

I continue to dream about my wife every night.  Not some nights.  Not 6/7 nights.  Every night.  I brought this up to both, and independently of each other both suggested this was a normal part of the grieving process, as my dreams almost always occur in the future, where none of this happened or it happened but we reconciled and moved forward.

Last night I had a very long dream - I'm sure in real time it was only a few seconds - but it was one of those dreams that was a short story during the course of the dream.  Wifey came by work and took me to lunch, I decided to play hooky for the rest of the day and we went to "our place" on the beach, made dinner for the children together, wound up sleeping together, and I awoke as I was falling asleep in my dream.  It was in the future but she looked as she had years ago the first time she surprised me at the office, and my attraction level to her was as high as ever.

In some ways, this is a vast improvement given that I don't dream about her multiple times - I remember once in the first few weeks after she left dreaming about her nine times in one night; at that time my T encouraged me to keep a diary of my dreams so keeping count was easy; I stopped recording those dreams when my T suggested doing so was actually becoming counterproductive - and I don't wake up experiencing panic attacks any more, but she is with me every night.

For those of you with similar experiences, when did the dreams go away?  Or at least subside? It's been suggested to me that I may always dream about her, even if the frequency of the dreams subsides, but that seems like hell given that she will no longer be a part of my life.  Just thinking out loud and wondering how any of you all got through it.

[JJacks0]

I had a dream about my ex last night as well... .I have one just about every other night, if not every night.

So unfortunately I can't help you much aside from letting you know that I understand how terrible it is. My dreams are also centered on the future/reconciliation and they're always very upsetting to wake up from. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming sadness upon waking up, before I even recall my dream. As soon as I do it all makes sense. For me it's as though reality is real the nightmare, after experiencing such a vivid sense of happiness in my dreams and waking up to the opposite.

I'm sorry that you're going through the same. I'd like to know when they'll subside as well.