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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Words worth more than gold  (Read 371 times)
JerryRG
********
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832


« on: September 24, 2016, 12:25:11 PM »

Hello everyone

Went to my morning AA meeting and as always I heard so many good things.

Told my sponsor after the meeting that I used to be jealous of people who had more than me, now my attitude is changing. I no longer feel jealous of others, instead if I see something I really want, like a father who is so wonderful to his children or a couple who work to make their relationship last, people who love life and others, it inspires me to seek the same things.

My sponsor told me, jealousy is just laziness, people see what others have but are not willing to work to get it for themselves.

He then told me something that shook me, enlightened  me, validated me and made me proud of myself.

He said, raising a young child alone takes almost every minute of our time and energy. He said, trying to develope a relationship while being a single parent would just distract from the child's needs.

I've been telling my son's mother this for a very long time, she's so wrapped up in her own needs, she don't have time for our son.

Sad but true.

I felt like I grew 3 inches taller after my sponsor told me this. I know I'm doing the right thing, I'm making the best choices for our son. I want a partner to help me with my son because its tough doing it all alone, I'm not searching for a relationship. I'm way too busy doing what's best for my dear child to care about what I want.

Isn't that what parenting is all about?

Never too late to grow up, or to do the right thing.

His mother is missing out, guess she's made her choices
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Sadly
******
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Very Single
Posts: 886



« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2016, 12:36:10 PM »

Way to go JerryG, proud of you too   
Love from Sadly x
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Never let someone be your priority whilst you remain their option
JerryRG
********
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832


« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2016, 12:54:55 PM »

Thank you Sadly

After I booted my son's mother out of my life and her seeking another rescuer and basically choosing to remain the same person and not get well. My sponsor validated a years worth of dought for me, I told my exgf on many occasions she just changed partners, anyone can do that, I'm doing what's right, what is real, what will last, and most importantly, building a future for my son and myself.

Her loss
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JQ
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731


« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2016, 04:30:45 PM »

Hey Jerry,

Congratulations on another day sober!  And certainly congratulations on another door opening in your life & learning a lesson of life. It is truly an amazing thing to wake up one morning, go throughout your day as if it is another "normal" day and BAAAM!  An awesome lesson in life happens!

You're taking care of your son and this is truly food for the soul knowing that your giving guidance & are part of someones life that needs YOU in it. Remember this is NOT about your exBPD ... .this is ALL about YOU & YOUR life!  Your son is very fortunate to have such an amazing father in their life & I know that he will grow up knowing what an amazing person you are.

I know you're not looking for a romantic partner in your life ... .but the surprising thing is when you least expect it that person will be there right in front of you when the time is right and not a moment before than.

Enjoy your weekend & your son Jerry!   

J
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JerryRG
********
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832


« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2016, 05:34:23 PM »

Thank you so much, JQ

Have an awesome weekend yourself
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