Back after long absence, need support again

[Elbry]

I am sorry to have been gone from the boards for so long.  My 17 yo D with BPD was really stable and I found myself visiting the boards here less and less. Which is not the right thing to do because I could have been supporting others.

My DD was pretty stable for awhile. 2 years with no suicide attempts.  Going to therapy every week. She did DBT group.  Outbursts were minimal.  Then Tuesday night I got a msg on FB that read "Figured you should know I just swallowed a few bottles of pills.  I love you though."  My heart almost stopped. I jumped out of bed and dealt with the situation. She was in a different town from me, about 15 miles away, so I called  911 and headed to the hospital to meet then there. This is attempt number 5.   

When I got there, they were getting ready to put a tube down into her stomach to charcoal her bc she was refusing to drink it.  She told us she took Lithium and Trazadone.  The Trazadone was already affecting her heart, she was having arrythmias.  I'll spare you the details of the ER process, but she ended up transferred to the ICU.  3rd time in the ICU for overdose. 

She's ok. They monitored her heart and he arrythmia cleared up.  Lithium caused some tremors but beyond that she was ok.  Thank the Gods.

She had been staying with her boyfriend but I made her come home.  She is being unbearable.  Last night, we had plans with her sister to watch some shows we had on the DVR. I texted her ONCE to ask what time she was coming home so we would know what to plan on for the shows.  This morning she freaked, crying, screaming at me that I "kept bugging her" and that "she can't even go to the neighbor's".  I pointed out calmly that I only asked ONCE, and she carried on screaming and crying how much she hates it here, how awful it is. 

I'm really worried. I'm afraid I'm in for a rough ride for awhile again. And she turns 18 in a few months.  Right now I can make her come home and lock up meds. But what then?   

Thanks for listening.
Elbers

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Elbry

I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with right now in light of how well your daughter has been over the last period as you say. I understand you are worried and why. I'd bring a young daughter home at this point as you have, administer meds etc.

You say your daughter has done well over the last two years, which is great news.  Are you in touch with the medics to see what care can be put back in place, DBT, therapy?

Glad you have come back for support Elbers, while the road is not linear, it does get better.

WDx

[Elbry]

Thank-you wendydarling. 

I am afraid she is having more symptoms from the Lithium overdose.  She is having trouble understanding when someone speaks to her.  She can be looking right at you when you talk to her, and the words don't make sense to her and you have to repeat yourself.  She also is having trouble finding words when she tries to talk. She is refusing medical attention. 

[wendydarling]

Hi Elbry

I'm so sorry to hear your daughter is struggling with symptoms you describe from the Lithium, I'd be concerned like you. Have the medics provided you advice? How are you coping Elbry, do you have support at home?

WDx

[Elbry]

I don't really have support. I'm kind of the person for everyone else.  I have 2 other ill kids at home too.  I'm waiting for her psychiatrist office to call me back and tell me how much of a fight I need to put up here to get her to a Dr. It has happened in the past that the police have dragged her to the ER in handcuffs.  I hope it doesn't come to that. 

I'm really having a hard time.   My 22 yr old daughter is having her first psychotic break. it started 2 weeks ago and my 6 yr old grandson who I have custody of is having increasing psychotic symptoms (hallucinations).  I don't know how much more I can take.

[wendydarling]

Hi Elbry 

Thanks for sharing Elbry. Let us know what the physiatrist says, many here have walked your path medics advice V child/adult child engagement, being in the middle, is certainly not easy, working out the next step with support is for sure helpful. I recognise this is a shock to you as your daughter was doing well post DBT for a good period of time. My 28yr old daughter diagnosed last July is on your daughter's journey, recovery - so I understand you well, the journey is not linear, I have learnt it can however get better than the latest point in time. And that gives me hope, which I share with you.

With your 22yr daughter and 6yr grandson also, are you in touch with your general medical practitioner, for counselling and support? As I'm sure you know well it's important we reach out for help and support, worked for me when I lost my father at the same time my daughter needed me, it was tough at the time.

We are here, walking with you.

WDx

 

[Kwamina]

Hi Elbry

Welcome back, I am sorry for these challenging circumstances that have led to your return though.

Not really having a support network can be very tough as you deal with all of this. I am glad that as you are trying to cope with this difficult situation, you remembered that you can always come here for advice and support.

It has happened in the past that the police have dragged her to the ER in handcuffs.  I hope it doesn't come to that.

I hope it doesn't come to that either. My advice, as difficult as it can be I realize that, is to try and take it one step at a time and try to be mindful and fully in the now. This will also help you I think to put into practice what you say in your signature: "Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind"

Take care