Can't get any crazier

[Lexisdad]

I'm simply in awe and this really can not get any crazier. For everyone, a brief recap of my story. Spent 6 years with my BPD ex gf. Went thru it all, rages, dyllusional jeoulosy, spitting you name it i experienced it. In December, 2015 was scheduled to have an ivf procedure and become engaged. The day before the procedure ended the relationship. I had my suspicions she returned to her horrible cheating "ex" who gave her hpv and "forced" her to have an abortion.

These suspicions were confirmed about 3 weeks ago. I had her blocked by phone and text but not email. She had been begging to know how my severely brain damaged daughter was. I admit i caved and gave in. That opened the pandoras box.

She admitted she returned to her "ex" but couldnt live the "lavish" lifestyle!  She ended the relationship the day they returned from vacation in Anguilla which is the day she started messaging me. Ive heard all the begging and pleading to take her back and have stood firm on the recycle. All contact was by text.

Today i get the dreaded phone call from her. Her life sucks and she made the biggest mistake ever leaving me. Please can i reconsider she and her son need me and my daughter back in her life. Now for the shocking revelation if Mr Perfect who replaced me.

She is sobbing on the phone. Guess what people she 's got hpv again!  Not from me but from her ex! He had been cheating on her in his bar business with 4 or 5 girls the past 8 months!  To top it all off she confronted him and he claims i mustve given it to her!  Her paps had all been clear for 5 years after her leap procedure when i started with her! Now for the supreme topping of all!  She 's pregnant and her ex wont take responsibility! Our you for real you think i'm that naive or stupid to go back on this express crazy train!  I thought i have seen and heard it all with this crazy train engineer!  Sorry sweetie not my problem, good luck!

[Sadly]

Good grief man, what a nightmare. I am so sorry. Thank goodness you are out of it. Carry on blocking everything and good luck with your future life without this person in it.   x

[JerryRG]

I agree with Sadly

Shut it down, and the sad truth is... .

Yes, yes, it can get even more crazy

But only if "WE" allow it into our lives

Example:

My exgf called me late one night, her friends abandoned her in a bar, she's drinking and alone. Nothing wrong with this picture? I beg her to get a ride home to safety. She refuses. Few hours later I get the call, she's been raped.

Still don't know what really happend to her.

My point? Crazy crazy crazy crazy

Run, run, run the other way! (Telling myself this too)

Once I started getting well, I won't go back to chaos and misery. I am out of the picture, I can see the picture from outside the frame. Others could see the picture too and tried telling me what they could see. I was blind, not anymore.

[Butterflies free]

Hey LexisDad,

Just want to clarify for you, women and men don't get hpv again. HPV is a virus that is either active or dormant. Upon her very first exposure to it she is now living with the virus. Think of the chicken pox. The virus is still in the body and in adults may come out as shingles.

Now that that is out of the way, I am surprised you would entertain a conversation with this individual when her opening dialogue was how is your severely brain damaged daughter!

Knowing that pwBPD do not have the capacity to love in a healthy "normal" way without manipulation might be a relief for you. They aren't capable. What they feel is real, but it is not what we hope it could be: True. Their truth is their perception and their emotions are fickle. They fluctuate with a slight breeze...

It's so painful for us nonBPDs and that is why we all find solace here... We're not alone and it's comforting to have the same experiences and challenges in common with members/family/friends on this site.

NC is the best and only way. You can still take your power back.
Once you accept that she can only change with intense therapy (if she goes and doesn't quit) that should give you some strength to move forward without her.

She will never have happiness, you on the other hand will.
I promise!
Don't be hard on yourself ... .Be kind to you, you're the one she abused, there's no need to abuse you too with negative thoughts... .

You're strong and courageous
I wish you happiness and peace of heart

[Anez]

Hi lexisdad,

Sorry to hear she's trying to get back in your life. I echo what others say - she's unable to have true happiness because of her BPD. It's hard, because we do see the good in these people, but the bad far outweighs that.

Since I've been forced to learn a ton of this I've been amazed to find how predictable they can be. How they'll come back looking to manipulate you again and then they'll be gone again. Over and over again.

Mine reached out last week for the first time in months. She texted saying she was so sorry for hurting me. I work with mine. See her from a distance every day. So I reached out to my T and asked how I respond. He suggested this: thanks for the text, you know I wish only the best." So i did and that was that. Didn't give her anything to feed of off.

I wish you the best in dealing with yours. It's not easy but we know what's the right thing for us to do for us.

[Herodias]

Gosh, on one hand that has to be validating, but on the other... .so sad to hear. I'm glad you are not feeling sorry for her... .Sounds like she has gotten herself hooked up with a narcissist. They say pwBPD tend to attract them. What a mess. I know it doesn't feel good, but at least you know now that things haven't gotten better for her, our secret fear that it was us. Also, I think it's interesting she said she didn't like the "lavish" life style...   Mine acts like that. Not that we were lavish, but compared to how he is living now... .we had a life of luxury. I think he thought it was too hard to maintain the life style. I bet that has something to do with self esteem and insecurities... .Vacations tend to bring out the worst in them too. Mine always freaked out before, during and after. That's probably why she contacted you. Keep on being strong... .

[Circle]

"I thought i have seen and heard it all with this crazy train engineer!  Sorry sweetie not my problem, good luck!" -LexisDad

So good to see your attitude in regards to her. If I remember right, this is the same woman that gave you a hell-ride on the day of an intense surgery with your daughter. Glad that you had the opportunity to see everything you are NOT missing out on, by not being with her. Thumbs-up LexisDad!

[bus boy]

They are bottomless pits of crazy. I loved your post. It's great to read that you let the crazy train keep on going. To often we non's think we can fix the unfixable. We must save our selves from these broken toys and turn our back on them forever. When they are out of our lives it is truly a gift from God. God bless you and your daughter.