Ex is now into Walt Disney-WTH?

[Pretty Woman]

My ex has now officially "become" her new girlfriend. I happened to be on FB and snuck a look at her page. Her profile pic is now the castle at the Magic Kingdom.

She posts quotes from Disney movies and stuff like that. It is so bizarre to me.  

I know her GF is a big Disney fan. In her profile pic she has on a shirt with all the characters on it.

This is NOT the person I dated. The person I dated claimed to have been involved in S and M groups, was in a poly relationship with swingers and into fetish porn. She was the complete opposite of this, mind you I am not into any of the above, Disney or S and M.

I remember thinking after we broke up, how all her friends were really my friends and she had no interests, she just did what I liked to do. It's amazing how their interests change so drastically. I can't to this day tell you anything she liked other than rocks and animals. That's about it. There were no life goals, no hobbies. Nothing.

They really don't have an identity of their own. This is such a bizarre disorder. It's honestly like looking into the life of a stranger.

[SummerStorm]

I notice this with my BPD friend, too.  I love women's soccer, so she suddenly became interested in women's soccer.  The guy she dated last fall likes the rapper Logic, and I guess he calls his squad the Ratt Pack or something like that.  But anyway, right after they started dating, she posted a FB status that said, "Ratt Pack, ain't no fakes here."  I was like, "What the heck?"  I have never known her to listen to rap, and chances are, she had never even heard of Logic before she met that guy because it's not like he's that well known.  It just made me laugh so hard, that she had suddenly become some super fan of a rapper that she'd probably first heard about a few days before that.

I rarely even talk to her anymore because she is just so boring.  We do both like Pokemon Go, so we talk about that, but it's basically the only thing we talk about.  I hung out with her about a month ago, and our talking points were: Pokemon Go, her job at a convenience store, her loser friends from the convenience store, and her now ex-boyfriend, who was in rehab at the time for heroin addiction.  Really exciting stuff, let me tell you. 

She has a college degree but is doing nothing with it.  It's sad.  She has just become a total waste of a person. 

[Pretty Woman]

It's amazing how these relationships make us so obsessive. We really liked them because they were mimicking us and our interests... .we thought we met our perfect match.

When the BPD Cray Cray comes out we try to get things back to when they were "good". Thing is, they were never good. It was All just a big act to pull us in.

I don't miss my ex anymore. I'm still stuck in waiting for her next relationship to fail. I know that is just my bruised ego. I've met her exes... .she cheated on all of them and likely this won't be any different.

This relationship almost caused me to lose my job and I work with her sister who has threatened me and called me "the devil".

It shouldn't matter what people think of you but that still bothers me. I wasn't the abusive a hole everyone made me out to be.

[Dutched]

When I stumbled over the Disney quotes you mentioned I really had to laugh.
Just out of recognition and out of amazement too.

A few yrs. ago exw waved at me after yrs. of hiding, avoiding me.
Exw found the courage to wave at me (after yrs, of hiding) as she was sitting with her ‘best ever happened to me’, a guy of 65 or so, named by her intimae ‘mr Onslow’ – character in a UK TV-series- ), so I approached her.

When I left I wished her all the happiness in her Disney perfect world she chased for yrs. and finally found.

Yes, another chameleon
Exw spoke with contempt about tattoos. Her mr. Onslow is covered with several tattoos, mind you an old guy fo

Large age gaps in relationships? With disgust and those people don’t think!
One retired and really old the other one still working and being fit.
Her attachment? By the time she retires her mr. Onlsow will need his afternoon nap and a walker… she wants to fill her life with rewarding activities… 

Humanitarian aid? 30+yrs it is there own problem!
Now she whole hearted helping to integrate refugees…

Bought a ‘wannaby’ 4x4car and is participating with ‘interest’ in mud driving.
Friends had a big LR, every time, really every time she made disgusting remarks about those kind of cars.
 
Well, at age 18 exw dumped her parents and family and went NC for a 10yrs. Pulled her out of that deep mud, overcome grieve and pain.
Madam went back into that mud (in a 4x4 with a mr Onslow) full of hate and revenge as a modern Medea.

Correct, it is a borrowed identity, ours.
Sadly we felt in a way very well with that, didn’t even see it for yrs.
Sadly too we invested that much, emotionally and otherwise.

[Pretty Woman]

Dutched,
   Isn't that crazy? My ex just sat hospice for a dying friend of her GF. My dad had major surgery and I was distraught... .
She dumped me.

Ive learned if they didn't cause the pain they can be the most loving people, helpful... .kinda like your ex helping refugees. When a friend's son died she mourned this complete stranger (she didn't know the child) as if he were her own.

The irony was that this child died while I was going through a major life issue and she told me I was selfish and horrible and dumped me. I could have no feelings at all.

It's hard not to be angry. I so want to be indifferent. Close to two years later and I want to see her suffer. I know it's not right but that doesn't stop me from occasionally hoping. 

[Dutched]

We can’t rationalize, only try to understand, what we in fact do.

Although I am several yrs out now after 30+ yrs, Still, the coldness, lack of empathy and even being cold as ice of unable to see consequences (as in my case for the kids), etc. keeps me wondering me in every story I read. 

I rationalized it by simply as they use randomly a switch from ‘love on’ to ‘love off’.   

You are aright about loving and caring. When it was good is was good (and for many yrs. it was), when it was bad, I faced a devil
Literally almost, when seeing those eyes full of fire and her face.
It was seeing more than intense hate, more like wanting to destroy one.

I recognize that lack of empathy towards beloved one (as you told about your issue), you ‘failed’ her as her mask  towards the outside world was more important. 

When daughter broke up with boyfriend, guess… exw cried and cried…
mourned for not seeing him anymore
I asked her if she had the loss, or daughter…  she, as he will be gone now…
I asked her how about daughters feelings and tough decision.
She replied with ‘well x (daughter) broke up didn’t she?’   

IMO it is not wrong to have feelings that the ex will suffer one day too.
I don’t believe anyone who doesn’t, as it takes a very long time to reach indifference.
As they use 1 textbook only, history will repeat. 
And it does in all cases on this board.

By what I am being told by exw’s intimae (another story about contact with them), already the 2nd stage is in full progress… (see, ‘how a borderline relationship evolves’). 

just wait as a sitting duck... . 

[Herodias]

It is strange... .Mine was mirroring me in the beginning, but had allot of his own interests and tried allot of different things depending on the friends he had... .Now with the new gf, he is pretending to be into country music and she is a proclaimed redneck... .Not even close to the preppy conservative person he was with me and household he grew up in. All I can say is that he may like the easier lifestyle and as he said, "she is cheap", (I loved that he said that-I agreed with him, ) He's barely working now after spending 10 years moving up in his career. They demoted him back to his job he had when we met and then he quit. I think he may be the one keeping the baby now... .scary! Considering he starts drinking at noon! It is very strange... .It reminds me of young girls who pretend to like what a guy likes just to attract him... .it's very immature.

[BorisAcusio]

I happened to be on FB and snuck a look at her page. 

I think the real question here is: why did you do that? You've been separated for years with no strings attached.