I'm confused too:(

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm confused I rarely get replies ... Maybe I'm rambling... too much... but seeking some answers all the same. I'm also confused ABt ex BPD behavior now.

In my prior post, I explained I had to break off our long distance relationship because of BPD symptoms were so bad I couldn't take the stress any longer. I was raised by an OCPD/NPD/BPD mother and have despite therapy, reading I still get suckered in... because the s/S of these folks manifest after they " gotcha".
I married one, and the last dude... did a number on me. I thought I was passed getting hooked in. Wrong!
I have some narcissistic characteristics out of the way I was brought up... ( my Mom focusing on perfecting my looks) but I have deep empathy for others and the ability to put others first. ( thanks to therapy) and years of insight, feeling my feelings, and learning not be a clone like her.

Anyway, I fell in love with this guy, who pursued me like crazy, then once I was hooked, his behavior changed like an preview trailer from the movie " the excorcist". He started raging, verbally abusing, and flip flopping from jeckle to Hyde... within 30 secs. I ended it totally drained... and hurt from one betrayal after another.
He had a wonderful side too, just couldn't control the bad one.  He knows now I know he's borderline, after discovering his medications by accident, confronting his behaviors and asking him to get help.
In the end, I told him off... Everything!  said never contact me again, I was embarrassed I dated him. I blocked him for months...
I'm not a person to feel comfortable leaving things on bad terms... It bothers me.
( maybe my own co dependency issues) but just don't like it. I want to do right thing... and offer peace.  Not saying everything is good now... Just to let go... It means more to do it face to face... so the other can see the sincerity and tone in voice. I attempted this with ex this past weekend...
He did text back, as he was not home when I stopped by his house, to offer peace in person. He said he was with a new gf in the next city... then gave told me when he would be home.
He could have burst as easily left out the part ABt the new gf... so that was intended... but why tell me when he was returning? 
I had no idea near the end when he was lying or being truthful... and still don't.
B4 leaving town, I left a brief email saying I wish I had too been able to see him ( what he texted to me) ... But things work out the way do for a reason. Then wished him the best... No reply...
Is this predicable BPD behavior? What do you gather from it?
Is it a blow off? Could it be anger? Or could it be the truth for once?
Thanks all!

[Laurielynn]

I'm confused I rarely get replies ... Maybe I'm rambling... too much... but seeking some answers all the same. I'm also confused ABt ex BPD behavior now.

In my prior post, I explained I had to break off our long distance relationship because of BPD symptoms were so bad I couldn't take the stress any longer. I was raised by an OCPD/NPD/BPD mother and have despite therapy, reading I still get suckered in... because the s/S of these folks manifest after they " gotcha".
I married one, and the last dude... did a number on me. I thought I was passed getting hooked in. Wrong!
I have some narcissistic characteristics out of the way I was brought up... ( my Mom focusing on perfecting my looks) but I have deep empathy for others and the ability to put others first. ( thanks to therapy) and years of insight, feeling my feelings, and learning not be a clone like her.

Anyway, I fell in love with this guy, who pursued me like crazy, then once I was hooked, his behavior changed like an preview trailer from the movie " the excorcist". He started raging, verbally abusing, and flip flopping from jeckle to Hyde... within 30 secs. I ended it totally drained... and hurt from one betrayal after another.
He had a wonderful side too, just couldn't control the bad one.  He knows now I know he's borderline, after discovering his medications by accident, confronting his behaviors and asking him to get help.
In the end, I told him off... Everything!  said never contact me again, I was embarrassed I dated him. I blocked him for months...
I'm not a person to feel comfortable leaving things on bad terms... It bothers me.
( maybe my own co dependency issues) but just don't like it. I want to do right thing... and offer peace.  Not saying everything is good now... Just to let go... It means more to do it face to face... so the other can see the sincerity and tone in voice. I attempted this with ex this past weekend...
He did text back, as he was not home when I stopped by his house, to offer peace in person. He said he was with a new gf in the next city... then gave told me when he would be home.
He could have burst as easily left out the part ABt the new gf... so that was intended... but why tell me when he was returning? 
I had no idea near the end when he was lying or being truthful... and still don't.
B4 leaving town, I left a brief email saying I wish I had too been able to see him ( what he texted to me) ... But things work out the way do for a reason. Then wished him the best... No reply...
Is this predicable BPD behavior? What do you gather from it?
Is it a blow off? Could it be anger? Or could it be the truth for once?
Thanks all!

[C.Stein]

Hi LL,

I tried to get "closure" as well ... .which I never got.  She essentially ghosted me and I think the more you read here you will find many people share similar experiences.  What do you hope to get from him with this face to face meeting?  What "truth" are you looking for here?

[Grissum69]

Hi LL,

Do you really want this person in your life knowing what you have already been through with them?  A peace offering will do what?  Face to face or by text / email isn't going ot make much of difference. 

IMO as I have been told and am learning, let it go and do for you...   unless you want that in your life and I don't think you want that. 

[anothercasualty]

Everything!  said never contact me again, I was embarrassed I dated him. I blocked him for months...
I'm not a person to feel comfortable leaving things on bad terms... It bothers me.
( maybe my own co dependency issues) but just don't like it. I want to do right thing... and offer peace.  Not saying everything is good now... Just to let go... It means more to do it face to face... so the other can see the sincerity and tone in voice.

For me, the idea of meeting "just one more time" seemed like it would help both of us. I always felt things just weren't left right. The truth of the matter was I hadn't given up hope yet and I was hoping to reconcile. We did reconcile, and it only lasted two months before things went really bad. All of my friend were telling me to leave it alone, but I just couldn't. Now, a few weeks out from the break, I can tell you I wish I hadn't met one more time. It set me back several months of progress.

Nobody can tell you what to do, but please go into the situation honestly and with your eyes wide open. What are you really trying to accomplish by meeting up again?