She turned it on me...

[NewStart]

Well, it's been years since I've been here and well... .unfortunately I'm back and this time I married an undiagnosed BPD/NPD and am about as close to divorce if not already in it. 

So quick back story... .all BPD relationship signs were there, crazy quick love and marriage and then the change. Rages about everything, spitting, hitting you name it and it was always my fault because I did something. Checking my phone, checking my email, snooping my FaceBook etc.

Here is the kicker, I called her out on a few things like gaslighting and she looked them up and tied them back to BPD, talked with my neighbor who knows about my last relationship with a BPD so now... .she has turned it totally on me and told friends, neighbors, coworkers and her family that it's me!  Now the gaslighting and smear campaign is in full swing and I don't know what to do. Now things she used to admit to doing and say she onlys said or did them were because of something I did, she now says NEVER HAPPENED and it part of my problem!

Neighbors etc no longer engage me and BPD wife threatening to kick me and my kids out of the house my boys have been in for over 15 years... .and she could do it as she makes way more money and has total control of the finances... .she said, if we're done you can scrape together your penny's and move into an apartment with your boys because I'm taking the house... .and now says she never said that, it's another one of my lies :/

Sorry for the ramble but I'm freaking out and wonder if anyone else has had the BPD flipped back on then... .ugh

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[roguewanderer]

I get the same thing weekly with my wife. I have earned substantial money in the past 5 years- yet I allowed her to be in full control of finances for everything. Even my motorcycle is in her name because at the time I was overseas when I bought it (former military).

Every week she tells me I have to 'get out' even though she has no way to pay the bills, her response is just to say she'll sell my things and bike etc. It is hard not to feel pure anger when you get told everything YOU have earned is threatened to be taken away from you by the person who causes the problems.

[NewStart]

I feel your pain roguewanderer.  As for my wife, she make three times what I do and has the financial ability to kick me to the curb and has used that threat since early on.  When we married she had me put her on my house title straight away and took out a equity loan to pay high interest credit card balances, however she did not put me on her house title but said we'd pay everything off once it sold. 

Well, we tried to sell the home and the market was flat and her home had no equity... .two years later the market popped, we sold and bam big payday... .for her... .she told me that was "her house" and "her money" even though our state laws say otherwise, equity earned after marriage is community property.  Even had the conversation, so equity in my house since married is "ours" but in your house it's "yours", and of course she said yes exactly... .wth?

She did however tell me that she talked to an attorney and had a document that I could sign stating that she would split the money from the home sale if I agreed to be responsible for the home equity loan were we ever to be divorced... .and that if I mentioned that to anyone, she was going to divorce me... .

I don't know I could go on and on about the financial control... .