Do your exes demonise your friends?

[CitizenBell]

My friend at work told me that my ex was giving her funny looks. She knows I'm friends with her but she's never talked to her once in her life. I went to break with her once instead of going with my ex towards the end of the relationship because she'd wanted to catch up with me. Would that be something my ex would hold against her or is it because my ex hates me and therefore hates the people I'm friends with?

She also used to give dirty looks to another of my friends who also was friends with her ex.

[sweet tooth]

Yep. When my ex discarded me my very dear and good friend who introduced us also got discarded.  We were both immediately un-friended on Facebook when she reactivated her account.  Ironically, she sat next to him in a movie theater at a MeetUp Event after all of this went down.  These people are inconsistent and have poor boundaries. 

[Curiously1]

Nah, but I can see how that is possible for others. Even when we were together, exBPDgf didn't really make much of an effort to get to know my friends in real life. Only really met them during parties or outings. Sure she was friendly and all but didn't care about them that much. However, she has kept one of my close online overseas friends added on Skype whom I heard she has messaged since our break up but months and months ago. I told my friend not to mention anything about me if she ever were to ask and he said it's fine. I trust him. They only spoke briefly apparently about online gaming I think she reached out to him. I haven't asked him if she has continued to message him since that one time he mentioned to me. I doubt it. I've always wondered if she kept him to stay somewhat connected to me. I have blocked her on everything.

[Fr4nz]

Yep. When my ex discarded me my very dear and good friend who introduced us also got discarded.  We were both immediately un-friended on Facebook when she reactivated her account.  Ironically, she sat next to him in a movie theater at a MeetUp Event after all of this went down.  These people are inconsistent and have poor boundaries. 

Same happened to me some time after the breakup: she made friendship with 10+ of my friends during the relationship (it lasted 1,5 years), and added them in FB over time; let me say that my friends really liked her - obviously, they didn't know about her temperamental issues, with the exception of 2 friends of mine - and it seemed that she really liked them. So, no reason to unfriend them.

However, Some time after the breakup, she proceeded to unfriend ALL of them in one shot, like as if she had to close a chapter of her life.
Let me say that we had a medium-distance relationship (lived 250km apart), so overall this didn't affect her - my friends all live in my city.

However, let me.say that it is SO mind boggling how these people can detach so quickly and completely, even of we're talking about long-term relationship... .it's really disturbing.

[sweet tooth]

I agree, Frf4nz.  I saw my ex BPD for the first time after the discard two nights ago.  It was at a MeetUp event. She came in holding hands with some big, fat, goofy slob. I'm pretty sure that was by design because she knew I'd be there.  She glanced at me a few times.  They stayed with the group for a total of maybe 5 minutes and then disappeared into the night, never to be seen for the rest of the evening. 

Her behavior is bizarre, cruel, twisted, and unreasonable.  I would never dream of doing half the stuff she's pulled. The "abuse" by her ex-husband is highly questionable.  She even had the poor SOB thrown in jail for a week.  I read the court report.  She had a restraining order against him.  She didn't bring their kid to the court ordered drop off point at the right time.  He panicked, called her and her family a few times, and showed up at their residence.  I think it was a setup and she used the kid as bait.  Yes, he violated the temporary restraining order and yes he was very foolish to do so, but I honestly think he was concerned for the child and she took advantage of that.  These people are sick. 

[Fr4nz]

Yeah Sweet... .in your case, I would label your ex as an emotional manipulator. Luckily, not all the BPD sufferers go to those extremes.