Ex has a new fabook account..

[Bushido]

Can anyone explain this ?
So ... .It's not enough to remove all my family from her facebook friendslist.
Not have me either on that list... .I mean we only have 4 kids after being together
For 18 years.
She now has made another profile and for what ?
Her new life?
Her new bf has two kids with his ex... .i wonder if he does the same... .
And finds it " normal "

[oceanyc]

What I've come to learn is that Facebook is a fantasyland. It's a space where people can show you exactly what they want you to see, when they want you to see it, and how they want it to be seen. It allows a brief, but ultimately false, sense of control. I barely use mine but if you were to randomly look at it you wouldn't be able to come away with an accurate understanding of how my life actually is day to day.

[sweet tooth]

Can anyone explain this ?
So ... .It's not enough to remove all my family from her facebook friendslist.
Not have me either on that list... .I mean we only have 4 kids after being together
For 18 years.
She now has made another profile and for what ?
Her new life?
Her new bf has two kids with his ex... .i wonder if he does the same... .
And finds it " normal "

These people make no sense.  My exBPD created Fake Accounts to contact me after telling me not to contact her again.  She sat right next to my friend in a movie theater after unfriending my friend (who introduced us) and me on Facebook.  Attempting to understand their behavior is fruitless and will drive you batty.  Chalk it up to the fact that she's a woman with a very serious mental illness. 

[Bushido]

.  Attempting to understand their behavior is fruitless and will drive you batty.  Chalk it up to the fact that she's a woman with a very serious mental illness. 

That is a very good point... .
I guess i must be trying to understand something that makes no sens...

[enlighten me]

If shes using both accounts then the new one is probably for keeping her old life seperaye from her new. If she is only using the new one then shes trying to run away from her old life.

[Dutched]

Very common behaviour what you describe and indeed keep in mind that are postings on a make believe book.

It is a kind of self protection in order to survive as pwBPD suppress emotions that are very painful.
That is also a reason that a new attachment is seen as ‘the best ever happened’, as pwBPD crave for love, for reassurance and 'finally' being validated.
You, despite the 18 yrs. (myself  30+ yrs.) are the cause, you are the bad (love) object which made the ex do what ex did.
It was not the fault of ex, it is yours (all in their mind).

It is an attachment disorder, it is shame based.
When you look into the mirror, you see yourself.
When ex looked into the morror, two (2) persons were seen, the body of self and an emotional mirror of you.
Now, re writing history is a necessity, it is erasing the bad and the memories with it.

All ‘our’ friends of decades were dumped too, they were emotionally too close.
The same with her interests, those that once were are replaced for ones she never showed any interest for.

Mirroring the (low)social background of her attachment. Exw (mid 50) showed up at a (fancy)wedding in a mini dress, a woman I only knew of having a modern style and dressed appropriate for the situation.
Mirroring the attachment who himself dressed in a kind of t-shirt showing of his tattoos.

Posting pictures? Same. In all these yrs. there is no picture taken of me alone.
To show off pictures are posted of him alone, an old bloke in his late 60ies. Btw a bloke with a low self esteem that seemingly still craves for 'likes' for his appearance at his age too.
 
Jus go for a moment back into the past.
What emotional support did you have when things were tough for you?
How was love and care showed and yours answered?
Your values in life, the upbringing of the kids, the ideas and most major decisions during that r/s were yours, only mirrored and ‘embraced’ for the attachment so needed.

[JerryRG]

My exgf has at least 5 or 6 new accounts in the past year. I just block them when I discover them. One account was to advertise sympathy for her lupus, which turns out was all made up lies.

Yes, trying to understand these people is pointless and a waste of time, yet I still ask why.

I'm programmed to ask why, one day I will let go.

I believe the most damaging aspect of my relationship with my exgf was her crazy lies and distorted reality and my attempt to adapt to her world, it changed my mind and it will take time to come back to the real world completely.