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Author Topic: 32 Year Old Son With BPD Has Become an Inspiration  (Read 712 times)
radioguitarguy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Happily Married For 37 Years
Posts: 95



« on: October 24, 2016, 06:11:51 PM »

Hello All,

It's been quite a long time since I've visited this site but I wanted to come back with an inspirational and hopefully helpful message. Our son was diagnosed with BPD in his late teens. He's now 32. He's been a drug addict, attempted suicide twice, spent a week in jail, spent time in various hospital psych units, and he's been homeless. He finally accepted the diagnosis when he was 25. The day he stopped denying his BPD was the first key turning point.

It would take him 6 more years before he made the decision to seek treatment. Within those 6 years he tried heroin and fell in love with the drug. As he was spiraling into the abyss from out of the blue he called a friend and asked to be taken to detox and from there spent 3 weeks in a treatment facility. When he was discharged he went right back out and started using again.

To make a very long story much shorter, he enrolled in a methadone program and after 5 years decided to begin the tapering process which took him 2 years to complete. What he called "liquid handcuffs" were finally removed and that was the second turning point.

My son is a gifted singer/songwriter who found that drug addiction was getting in the way of what he lived for, playing and singing for friends, family, and fans. After he beat methadone about a year ago, he asked me to make some calls and try to find him a therapist who specialized in treating BPD patients. He couldn't make that call because of his debilitating anxiety. Luckily I hit pay dirt! He began seeing that therapist, who he loves, every week and was prescribed a mood stabilizer, an anti-depressant, and anti-anxiety medication. This was his final turning point. He's become an unofficial motivational speaker on Facebook trying to spread the word that there is help out there if you reach for it.

He simply got sick and tired of feeling like crap every single day which is how our loved ones feel because their brains are wired so very different than ours. He knew if he didn't begin doing the work, he was going to die and he told me he wasn't ready. We did NOT throw him out because I knew that within 6 months he would be dead. I want to believe that our continued support was one of the reasons he made the decision to do what he had to do to begin the process of changing his life. If I make it sound easy, it's not. He still has his bad days, but now he knows how to handle those days knowing it's only temporary.

Three things have to happen before the healing can happen:
1. Accepting the BPD diagnosis... .
2. Knowing one must 'do the work' by finding a good therapist and possibly medication... .
3. Actually 'doing the work' on a consistent basis... .

He's working hard, and I hope to God he continues and our family roller coaster ride stays parked for as long as possible. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out to me in a personal message.

Sincerely
Radioguitarguy

 
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
473harman

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 38



« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2016, 07:09:21 PM »

Thank you radioguitarguy for sharing your story. it is inspiring to know that there is hope for our children.
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livednlearned
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced January 2012
Posts: 11759



« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2016, 07:12:39 PM »

You must feel so proud of him, radioguitarguy. It is one thing to kick an addiction (and heroine, no less), much less seek treatment and stick to it.

Thank you for coming back to share a positive story about your son and your family  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Breathe.
llbee814
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married for thirty-two years, 57 w/ 4 children & 1sil & 1gd
Posts: 129



« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2016, 12:18:05 AM »

Hi radioguitarguy,
     I remember your journey well.  I am so happy for you and yours!  Quite the journey you all had, and so lovely to hear that your son is doing well.  I know that roller-coaster and hope it continues to be parked for you, too.  It is an indescribable set of feelings when our kids are "winning" as my girl says.  Wishing you continued blessings,  L. 
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Reforming
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 768



« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2016, 04:38:15 AM »

Hi Radio,

Thanks for coming back here to share your story.

What an inspirational story! My best wishes to your son, to you and to all your family family.

Reforming
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Lollypop
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1349



« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2016, 08:44:51 PM »

Wow, thanks for sharing. This is just what I needed to hear as I wait for my BPDs25  to seek treatment. I wish you and your family continued peace

L
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