Hi difficultlife,
Feeling like the life has been sucked out of you is tough, and many of us here understand the feeling. What is he like when he's home? How have the kids been affected?
Having a counselor was almost mandatory for me. The behaviors can be so confusing, and so painful. It really helped to have someone put things in context.
Do you have interests outside of your marriage, and a support network of people you can turn to? How is your relationship with your children?
Glad you found the site. It really does help to post

LnL