Into the ether I go

[GMart]

Greetings to whoever and wherever I am writing.

At the end of my tether here - and yes a tether does seem like an appropriate metaphor to use.
Like many I am sure i hesitate in talking of my partner as BPD, there is no diagnosis, well there is no discussion of the condition or of my other half having a problem. I have been steered here by counsellors I have been been seeing - one of whom has been doing some couple therapy with my partner and I.

We have a 22 month old baby, she is gorgeous in so many ways and is very much part of the rock and hard place decision making i am confronted with as I work out how to continue this relationship with my significant other. A child of course ensures that we have to stay in some sort of relationship for what 18 years or more no matter if we continue to live together or not - i would prefer the former but certainly not if current conditions prevail.

 I continually walk on eggshells - as the book frames it. The focus is usually on what i am doing wrong, usually in relation to our daughter as that is where the main focus is these days (it is about the only focus at this point in our lives). I have been saying for more than two years now that i don't feel emotionally safe in this relationship, a feeling that has intensified of late. I don't say it anymore i hasten to add, there is little point as it is usually dismissed as my problem and typical of my tendency to exaggerate, making so much of so little and thinking that is all about me, as if I am the only one who gets hurt in this relationship.

i do have to go to bed, it is late here in Australia. I do feel the need for connections with people travelling similar rocky paths (ah the cliches keep coming) but not sure how these connections get made and where they lead to - but of course I am not.

enough for now. a small introduction has to suffice.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ArleighBurke]

Hi fellow Aussie!

It sounds like you have a newly diagnosed BPD. Life with a BPD can be very rocky. Lots of people here know it!

Things can get better. They will never be smooth sailing, but many here make it work everyday. What have you taken from the book so far?

Having a newborn is a highly emotional time for a woman - even after a few years. Having BPD makes each emotion even greater. You can learn to understand her with time. You can learn to be a mentally and emotionally strong man who she can trust. If you want... .