Divorced but BPD ex harassment goes on with the goal to destroy my life

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Please can anyone help?
We are legally divorced, but she had a key logger software on my computer and broke into my phone. Listened in, blocked and sabotaged in any way possible to avoid me finding work and go on in life.

She has a new boyfriend and should be happy. I am still trying to recoop from the outrageous nightmare of my marriage and divorce.

How can I get rid of her?

She seems obsessed with the thought of destroying me. She already ruined my reputation, took all my possessions and money. In retrospect I had to learn that I was completely set up. Not a nice thought, but all I can feel right now is relief for having gotten out. The nightmare it created was nothing compared to my ongoing nightmare while being with her.

I have talked to officials, experts and we all see what she does, but the evidence is so far not strong enough to prosecute her. Has anyone gone through the same nightmare? Could you please share the do's and don'ts with me? At this point I am not interested in holding her accountable for the incredible damage this has caused. I just want to be able to move on and get her out of my things (computer/phone etc.) I am on the third laptop and the third phone. Please help. Thank you.

Read through tutorials and all the incredibly valuable information on here and other sites. Without it, I would not have come out alive.

I would appreciate any and all information. Thank you .

[Monsterfree]

Please can anyone help?
We are legally divorced, but she had a key logger software on my computer and broke into my phone. Listened in, blocked and sabotaged in any way possible to avoid me finding work and go on in life.

She has a new boyfriend and should be happy. I am still trying to recoop from the outrageous nightmare of my marriage and divorce.

How can I get rid of her?

She seems obsessed with the thought of destroying me. She already ruined my reputation, took all my possessions and money. In retrospect I had to learn that I was completely set up. Not a nice thought, but all I can feel right now is relief for having gotten out. The nightmare it created was nothing compared to my ongoing nightmare while being with her.

I have talked to officials, experts and we all see what she does, but the evidence is so far not strong enough to prosecute her. Has anyone gone through the same nightmare? Could you please share the do's and don'ts with me? At this point I am not interested in holding her accountable for the incredible damage this has caused. I just want to be able to move on and get her out of my things (computer/phone etc.) I am on the third laptop and the third phone. Please help. Thank you.

Read through tutorials and all the incredibly valuable information on here and other sites. Without it, I would not have come out alive.

I would appreciate any and all information. Thank you .

[Herodias]

Sorry you are going through that... .I understand, mine is still getting to me through lawyers and pending costs. I don't know allot about computers, but it sounds like you need to change all of your passwords on your accounts. Possibly even get a new e-mail address that she doesn't know about and change everything over to that as well. Hope that helps... .

[Naughty Nibbler]

 

Welcome Monsterfree:

I'm so sorry about all the trouble you are having.  Has your ex had access to your most recent computer and phone replacements?  Is one of the experts you made contact with a computer security expert?  If so, did they have some theory on how she could have gained access to your newest replacement devices? Could you have transferred the key logger onto the new devices?

Have you changed your passwords to email accounts, websites, social media?  It might be a good idea to change all your passwords.  Can you share some details of what mishaps happened with the 3rd devices? 

Have you terminated all forms of contact with her? You may want to change your phone number.

[Monsterfree]

Thank you so much for your responses. I apologize for the delay, but I needed to get a clean device first.

She had her hands on the first laptop and phone and the fact that a key logger could get transferred, I did not know until recently.

I am so shattered and disgusted, it is hard for me to even talk about this, but I truly need help.

At first, I only realized that something was wrong and she was always a step ahead of me. After a while, when emails disappeared and phone calls seemed to be under surveillance, I started searching for 'surveillance software' and could not find anything. This went on forever. Me not 'finding' anything.

A friend (in IT security) then offered to reinstall the laptop and make sure it is clean.
At the same time, I went to get my phone reset to manufacturing reset. It lastet less a week and I was back to where I started.

Another IT person then suggested to change the hard drive completely and offered me a clean laptop in the meantime. Lasted about another week and all was back to square one.

The new hard drive was faulty and we had to change back to the old one but did another reinstall of the system.

Phone reset to manufacting default with complete formatting.

Took less then a week and I was back at square one.

All this time, everyone gave me the feeling of being paranoid and nuts. How can this be? How would anybody be able to do this? Questions I asked myself constantly but had no answers.

In the meantime, I used every chance I had to change my passwords on different devices. Library, private computers from friends, random. Nothing helped.

Got to the point where I seriously thought, that I am crazy as I could read that in every face I looked at. Well, I took all the good advice everyone gave me and moved on. 4 times and here we are again.

Financially ruined, no hope to find a job, 200 job applications, no response. Alienated friends galore and nothing moves.

That's when I got an email with an attachment that was clearly fake and that badly faked that it could only be her. She was clearly winning at that point.

That's when I went to a library I had never been to before and that does not register the library card or the dl. I changed passwords and had time to kill so I googled surveillance software for the 100 time and boom there were listings galore. I was stunned.

So I googled all the other things that I could not find at my 2 laptops before and after all the reinstalls and new hard drive.

Surprise surprise, listings, names, contact information. All there, right in front of my eyes. I could not believe it. So I looked in the software and realized that the parental control was used to block me.

Turns out that the it guy I was using knew this all along and got upset with me the moment I presented my findings to him. He jammed the laptop shut and yelled on top of his lungs asking me to leave.

Another shock should I say, but in the end it got me away from the It guy that otherwise, I would have never questioned.

I then found high security experts and they analyzed the situation with the result that there are custom coded key loggers on my devices.

I would like to find them but that seems extremely difficult and cost intensive, which at this time is not in the books.

Without 'catching her' it is not going to stop, I am afraid and moving on to new equipment is not really doable either. She has absolutley no boundaries and I am pretty sure that he has been in the home as well. Money is not an issue for her and she would freely spend it on everything that will harm me.

It seems that this is all geared towards destroying me.

Unless I can find 'hard' evidence things will continue to be difficult and I am loosing the patience with this and it is clearly ruining me.

Since I have taken measures and no more questioning my sanity over this, things started to turn around and every day I get to speak with people that are happy to hear from me as they had tried to get in touch with me for business purposes and I did not return any calls or emails.

She must have also acted as MITM (man in the middle) as I just recently also learned existed.

This is so awful, I am still in shock and speechless.

I appreciate any thoughts and suggestions. Especially how to get her to turn her obsession and criminal energy to something else. I would so love to warn her new partner as this will be the next victim for sure.

Thank you for the time it takes to read all this.