My only problem is that I feel sorry for her as I know she adores me so much but she can't regulate those feelings. It was like I gave her a life force and was nothing without me... .but in doing so she sucked my life force out of me... . I just don't want her to hurt anymore or me for that matter and the only way I can do this is by nc
Hello Mate
I am 3 weeks NC and what you wrote, all of it just about could apply to me. The quote is exactly how I have been feeling and thinking. I've read a lot on here and I suppose that I FINALLY( hopefully ) realise that it is over, there is no solution in communication, cos I've tried all kinds of ways until there was nothing of me left. I don't know about you but the feelings I am left with are real sadness because my BPD ex gf was all of the wonderful, caring, magical and loving parts BUT the downside was rage and insecurity and control and the amount of anxiety and fear it brought up in me became unbearable, half a dozen recycles later, I am broke and missing her and all of a sudden from an interesting, exciting, terrifying all consuming relationship I am left missing her, and yet hoping she doesn't contact me. Feeling a sense of hope and potential freedom along with fear of the future. Many contradictions, but I am opting for health at last. So good luck Confused bloke, it seems like there is a lot of real useful information, sharing and caring here. I hope you stay strong as I am hoping for the same.
Cheers
