Former Friend with BPD?

[askingtoheal]

Hi, I was asking myself if a former friend I had with whom I am in contact with has BPD or traits of BPD and if I shoud stay in contact with this person or not.  We are supporting each other with PTSD symptoms.  She dumped my friendship for reasons which seem to be not valid to me and am very sad about it.  I am new in all of this.  Thank you.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

She dumped your friendship,  but you were are supporting each other?  What's your level of contact now? What happened?  I was dropped by a friend years ago overt what I thought was an innocent email inquiry.  It is sad, especially when we don't see what triggers them. 

Turkish

[askingtoheal]

She dumped your friendship,  but you were are supporting each other?  What's your level of contact now? What happened?  I was dropped by a friend years ago overt what I thought was an innocent email inquiry.  It is sad, especially when we don't see what triggers them. 

Turkish

Thank you Turkish for your reply.  Yes, we were supporting each other.  This is so weird to me, yet she still wants that we keep supporting each other.  It is as if she doesn't have feelings, but I don't know if she has them or she hides them because I don't know how she has a heart to say that we keep supporting each other but that we are not friends anymore.  I felt so bad that she dumped me.  One of the main reasons was that "I betrayed her," which didn't happen.  I explained her that there was no betrayal in what I did.  She interpreted what I say with her feelings, which don't have anything to do with what I was really saying.  I told her that too.  She said that I trigger her mother issues when she dumped me.   She knows I want to be her friend, but I guess I have to forget  any hope that this happens, because she doesn't want to be my friend in the future either.  This is so strange to me.  I cannot understand.  Everything was going well until I pointed out her mistakes because I wanted to be helpful and that she doesn't do them again and she seems to get offended easily, but she doesn't say it, she changes her behavior by remaining silent and then she was hurtful. She said she was going to do something one day and she didn't do it and I told her that and that I was waiting for her and she told me she doesn't want to receive any other personal message from me.   Does this mean that she wants to be my friend and she dumped me because of the BPD or does it mean she doesn't want my friendship at all?  I feel so bad she has not been honest with me because she never told me she has BPD or has tendencies to it.  I am not completely sure she has it, this was what my therapist told me.  Who knows if she has BPD mixed with any other mental illness or disorder.  There was a point when she told me hurtful things in which I felt for the first time in my life that I was walking on eggshells and my body was hurting again, my depression got worse and need to take additional stuff after she dumped me and was hurtful to me.  I was starting to feel safe with her friendship and she knows I have trust issues.  We are in contact once or twice a week.  She said she dumped another person who wanted to be her friend before me.  BPD is difficult for me to understand.   

[Turkish]

It sounds like a communication breakdown here.  If she has traits of BPD,  it's ready to inadvertently trigger her when from your view,  you're explaining how you feel.  Take a look at the lessons to the right of this board.  They can help educate you on what BPD is,  and Lesson 3 covers the communication tools,  developed by experts, which can help reduce conflict.  Validating is a key principal  (towards anybody,  really).

[askingtoheal]

It sounds like a communication breakdown here.  If she has traits of BPD,  it's ready to inadvertently trigger her when from your view,  you're explaining how you feel.  Take a look at the lessons to the right of this board.  They can help educate you on what BPD is,  and Lesson 3 covers the communication tools,  developed by experts, which can help reduce conflict.  Validating is a key principal  (towards antibody,  really).

Thank you Turkish.  Is the same information for friends and for partners, spouses? 

[FallBack!Monster]

Hi, I was asking myself if a former friend I had with whom I am in contact with has BPD or traits of BPD and if I shoud stay in contact with this person or not.  We are supporting each other with PTSD symptoms.  She dumped my friendship for reasons which seem to be not valid to me and am very sad about it.  I am new in all of this.  Thank you.

There are people on this board who are going to provide you with a better answer. But I give you my take this.
First off, let me just say, I'm sorry you're going thru this. I can only imagine how you must feel.

Now, it has been a year since my friend who suffers with PTSD, anxiety disorder, and God knows what else, stop being my friend. To this day I'm sad about it. We were each other's ears. At least i thought. I told her stories I never thought i would share with anyone. She was my bud and I thought I was hers. But no. One day out of the blue she discontinued all contact with me. Bc of this board which I've been reading since, I now know it wasn't anything i actually did.
To this day, I care so much about her but she cares none about me. Shes convinced that I did things to her that I never did. I tried for months to reach out, also to in some way keep her in my life. As a friend, close acquainted, hang out partner, messaging buddy, nothing worked. Should you remain in contact with this person?  It might not be up to you. In my experience, it wasn't. Once she started, she did everything under the sun to push me away. She was an all in one to me then just dumped me like garbage. I hope your situation turns out better.  It might be different than mine.  btw, no one on this board likes me either.

[waitingwife]

First of all, I''m sorry you're feeling so let down and friendship means the world to some of us. However, my 2 cents would be to really dissect what is in your control and what is in her control. Hopefully once you have those answers, then you can follow through by doing things that are in your control and the question is - do you have the strengh to accept her decission/actions. After all friendship is also about acceptance, isn't it?
I see a small trigger your friend must/could have had. You said you pointed out her mistakes to HELP HER out. Were her mistakes bothering/affecting you? If the answer is yes then were you really" helping her out"? Or were you trying to control the outcome by changing her wrong doings? I see some grey there so that might need some insight! Also I'd ask a friend before offering "critical advice" regarding her or her mother whether she is open to recieving it? That would seem like more fair and a 2 way communication? It would have given your friend the time to introspect whether she needs your help or not. I'm no expert but I see some neediness on your side too in this whole situation?

[FallBack!Monster]

It's okay to need and it's okay to want. It is true that friendship is a two way street.  Long road ahead, given the fact pwBPD seem hard to convince something is not the way they perceive it. Most often they dump permanently. Even so more when you are close. After that you're nothing but a game to them.  It hurts but please recognize the real. With a pwBPD you cannot be friends in the real sense. You have to watch what you say but never treat one fairly. My ex asked for maltreatment.  I couldn't do it so sent me to the dumpster.  . My heart is broken for life.

[Turkish]

The lessons are common and cross over many boards and relationships. I use validation tools on my kids,  too. A person who perceives being heard and listened to is more likely to listen more. 

[Grey Kitty]

Everything was going well until I pointed out her mistakes because I wanted to be helpful and that she doesn't do them again and she seems to get offended easily, but she doesn't say it, she changes her behavior by remaining silent and then she was hurtful. She said she was going to do something one day and she didn't do it and I told her that and that I was waiting for her and she told me she doesn't want to receive any other personal message from me.   

This sort of crazy stuff is pretty typical behavior for people with BPD (or with some traits), especially when you don't have the right tools to interact with them--Your "natural" reactions will bring out more bad behavior on her part, and it will continue to spiral downward from there.

Does this mean that she wants to be my friend and she dumped me because of the BPD or does it mean she doesn't want my friendship at all?

No, it means she was really upset when she said that.

Is the same information for friends and for partners, spouses? 

Pretty much. You might fight about different things, but the dynamics are just about the same, and the tools work just about the same too.

Validation is a great one. First, try to pay attention to things you do or say which are INvalidating. if she has BPD, she's horribly sensitive to any hint of invalidation, and it will trigger a lot of bad behavior on her part if you do it. And to make things worse, much of what she does makes an invalidating response on your part a natural instinct.

One of the main reasons was that "I betrayed her," which didn't happen.  I explained her that there was no betrayal in what I did.

You didn't intend to betray her. Doesn't matter. You see, she FEELS betrayed by you. Even if you didn't betray her, she feels that way. If you try to explain that you didn't betray her, the clear implication is that her FEELING of being betrayed is wrong.

Everything was going well until I pointed out her mistakes because I wanted to be helpful and that she doesn't do them again and she seems to get offended easily

There is pretty much no way you can point out a mistake of hers without being invalidating. If you can just avoid it, better.

If you want a friendship with her to work, you need to work on your skills. One tip is not to do what we call JADEing. Don't Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain. Any of these things will invalidate her feelings.

[askingtoheal]

Hi, I was asking myself if a former friend I had with whom I am in contact with has BPD or traits of BPD and if I shoud stay in contact with this person or not.  We are supporting each other with PTSD symptoms.  She dumped my friendship for reasons which seem to be not valid to me and am very sad about it.  I am new in all of this.  Thank you.

There are people on this board who are going to provide you with a better answer. But I give you my take this.
First off, let me just say, I'm sorry you're going thru this. I can only imagine how you must feel.

Now, it has been a year since my friend who suffers with PTSD, anxiety disorder, and God knows what else, stop being my friend. To this day I'm sad about it. We were each other's ears. At least i thought. I told her stories I never thought i would share with anyone. She was my bud and I thought I was hers. But no. One day out of the blue she discontinued all contact with me. Bc of this board which I've been reading since, I now know it wasn't anything i actually did.
To this day, I care so much about her but she cares none about me. Shes convinced that I did things to her that I never did. I tried for months to reach out, also to in some way keep her in my life. As a friend, close acquainted, hang out partner, messaging buddy, nothing worked. Should you remain in contact with this person?  It might not be up to you. In my experience, it wasn't. Once she started, she did everything under the sun to push me away. She was an all in one to me then just dumped me like garbage. I hope your situation turns out better.  It might be different than mine.  btw, no one on this board likes me either.

Thank you Back2Me for your reply.  My situation is similar as the one you said, we used to tell each other personal things to help each other to recover. Thank you for your words.  I don't know what to expect from her anymore.  I was starting to feel safe, now I fear that she will get rid of me at any moment.  I am very sorry about what happened with your friend.   

[askingtoheal]

the question is - do you have the strengh to accept her decission/actions. After all friendship is also about acceptance, isn't it?

I see a small trigger your friend must/could have had. 

Also I'd ask a friend before offering "critical advice" regarding her or her mother whether she is open to recieving it? That would seem like more fair and a 2 way communication? It would have given your friend the time to introspect whether she needs your help or not. I'm no expert but I see some neediness on your side too in this whole situation?

Thank you waitingwife for your reply. It bothers me when she doesn't reply to my questions and remains silent.  I feel ignored and also it bothers me when she doesn't use common courtesy as "thank you."

It was actually a big trigger she had because I was saying things like her mother.  Oh!  I have been never said this and feels so weird, especially because I am younger.

Thanks for your suggestion of asking her before if she wants to receive critical advice.  As she gets offended and perhaps hurt so easily, it would be something helpful.  She seems to want that people only support and compliment her which I think is not logical, but this may be what BPDs want.  I was being real and said what I really thought but she seems to feel better when she receives only support and compliments... .

[askingtoheal]

  Long road ahead, given the fact pwBPD seem hard to convince something is not the way they perceive it. Most often they dump permanently. Even so more when you are close. After that you're nothing but a game to them.  It hurts but please recognize the real. With a pwBPD you cannot be friends in the real sense. You have to watch what you say but never treat one fairly. My ex asked for maltreatment.  I couldn't do it so sent me to the dumpster.  . My heart is broken for life.

Thank you Rand.  I am so sorry about what happened to you with your ex.  I also couldn't maltreat a person either. 

Thanks for telling me that pwBPD are hard ot convince things are not the way they perceive it.  This relieves me in some way.  She interprets something  with her feelings  different to what I say.  Am I a game to her?  Am I her support supply?  I think I am a thing, not a person to her, to make her feel better after she dumped me as a friend. 

It is so difficult to watch what I say especially since I am dealing with depression. 

[askingtoheal]

The lessons are common and cross over many boards and relationships. I use validation tools on my kids,  too. A person who perceives being heard and listened to is more likely to listen more. 

Thank you Turkish.  I keep that in mind.

[askingtoheal]

This sort of crazy stuff is pretty typical behavior for people with BPD (or with some traits), especially when you don't have the right tools to interact with them--Your "natural" reactions will bring out more bad behavior on her part, and it will continue to spiral downward from there.

Thank you so much Grey Kitty for your reply.  It has been helpful.    This explains why it went all so bad.


Validation is a great one. First, try to pay attention to things you do or say which are INvalidating. if she has BPD, she's horribly sensitive to any hint of invalidation, and it will trigger a lot of bad behavior on her part if you do it. And to make things worse, much of what she does makes an invalidating response on your part a natural instinct.[/quote]

How sad that she is quite sensitive to any hint of invalidation, this explains all of her hurtful words.  I have realized she validates some of what I say and she uses some words that I have read about BPD like projection. 
Once she told me she didn't know what type of response I wanted from her, which confused me because I don't want her to reply the way I want but the way she thinks and feels. This also seems to be like BPD.  I also have realized she copies my words and expressions, which makes me wonder if she is being real and pretending she is similar to me. 
   
You didn't intend to betray her. Doesn't matter. You see, she FEELS betrayed by you. Even if you didn't betray her, she feels that way. If you try to explain that you didn't betray her, the clear implication is that her FEELING of being betrayed is wrong.[/quote]

This seems to be exactly the problem.  I did not betray her but she felt that way.  It means that she can get rid of me no matter what I do because she may FEEL that I hurt her at anytime and disappear from my life... .right?


There is pretty much no way you can point out a mistake of hers without being invalidating. If you can just avoid it, better.[/quote]

Thank you lots.  This is a very good tip.

If you want a friendship with her to work, you need to work on your skills. One tip is not to do what we call JADEing. Don't Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain. Any of these things will invalidate her feelings.
[/quote]


Thank you!  I was doing exactly JADEing. 

[waitingwife]

Yeah pwBPDs find it very hard to accept somebody pointing a finger at them coz some amount of narcissism is tied into BPD. However it's very hard for healthy people also to accept their drawbacks when it's told in a black and white way. So the lessons will definitely help in all aspects of communication with everybody.
Is there a particular issue you'd like to discuss or set a goal? Also a good pointer if you are trying to determine whether your said friend has BPD traits in the relationship past. Has she always painted you black or white? Coz a pwBPD cannot suddenly start painting you black when you point a drawback so have you seen this sort of dysregulation in regards to you very often in your r/s? I see you mention thst you're dealing with depression so how do you plan to address that? Do you have a Therapist? Maybe during depression is not a great time to address this dynamic because right now you need to take care of yourself and get yourself back to the center.

[FallBack!Monster]

Hi, I was asking myself if a former friend I had with whom I am in contact with has BPD or traits of BPD and if I shoud stay in contact with this person or not.  We are supporting each other with PTSD symptoms.  She dumped my friendship for reasons which seem to be not valid to me and am very sad about it.  I am new in all of this.  Thank you.

I've read this more than a few times. The replies Bring memories. The last my ex and i were together was after my ex had moved on. We were talking out in public and someone walked passed us. We looked at one another. My ex made a comment then I followed it with mine. Then we finished the each other's sentences and laughed. We always did that and still do. Amazing stuff.
I agree it is also hard for the non as it is to the pwBPD. It can be frustrating to have to adapt to another way of speaking. For pwBPD, im sure it's equally frustrating. Not equality as in we all feel the same exactly. Frustrating for you as the pwBPD because of all the things you cannot change about you. Frustrating to the non for all the things he or she cannot help you to change. I registered after reading about validation, mindfulness, and boundaries on here. Once I read a few posting boundaries began to make more sense.
This friend must be very special to you. Most people here post about their romantic partner or family member. It's nice that you care about your friend.

Insert Quote
Yeah pwBPDs find it very hard to accept somebody pointing a finger at them coz some amount of narcissism is tied into BPD

Do you mean they cannot accept anyone implying they're not perfect?  Me  neither.

The right tools to interact with them? I would if I knew for sure it meant something good. But my ex is long gone now. I'm just waiting for me now.

[Grey Kitty]

How sad that she is quite sensitive to any hint of invalidation, this explains all of her hurtful words.  I have realized she validates some of what I say and she uses some words that I have read about BPD like projection. 

Yeah, and there is a huge double standard baked into this dynamic. She's horribly sensitive to invalidation. She's also prone to being very invalidating to you (which easily  provokes an invalidating reaction from you that will set her off)

And yes, some people know these words and use them, sometimes accurately, sometimes really twisting things around 180 degrees. When she says things like this, use your own critical judgement and decide if she's right, half-right, or all wrong. And try not to bother pointing it out, as that would just be bonus invalidation.

Once she told me she didn't know what type of response I wanted from her, which confused me because I don't want her to reply the way I want but the way she thinks and feels. This also seems to be like BPD.  I also have realized she copies my words and expressions, which makes me wonder if she is being real and pretending she is similar to me. 

Projection (taking feelings she is uncomfortable with having and putting them on you, then attacking you for having them) is a common BPD behavior.

Mirroring (copying your words, expressions, and feelings) is another common BPD behavior.

Actually both of these are things that pretty much everybody does, at least a little bit. BPD just takes it to an extreme level.

[waitingwife]

To what statement of yours did she ask you - what type of response you wanted?
I ask since one form of effective communication also says to ask the opposite person when they're asking/talking irrational things - What do you expect me to say to that? So let's analyse where your friend was coming from.
Askingtoheal- I am again really very sorry that you're feeling so overwhelemed and depressed. I am not trying to be a devils advocate but just trying to get the other side of the coin for some new perspectives.

[askingtoheal]

Also a good pointer if you are trying to determine whether your said friend has BPD traits in the relationship past. Has she always painted you black or white? Coz a pwBPD cannot suddenly start painting you black when you point a drawback so have you seen this sort of dysregulation in regards to you very often in your r/s? I see you mention thst you're dealing with depression so how do you plan to address that? Do you have a Therapist? Maybe during depression is not a great time to address this dynamic because right now you need to take care of yourself and get yourself back to the center.

Thank you for your comment waitingwife.  I think she painted me white until I started to tell her the things I didn't like about her.  I don't have any problems with my other friendships.  I only have problems with this one. 

I am working with a energy therapist by now.  Yes, it is difficult to address this while being depressed.  I have realized that after I read information about BPD, I feel sadder.

[askingtoheal]

Yeah, and there is a huge double standard baked into this dynamic. She's horribly sensitive to invalidation. She's also prone to being very invalidating to you (which easily  provokes an invalidating reaction from you that will set her off)

And yes, some people know these words and use them, sometimes accurately, sometimes really twisting things around 180 degrees. When she says things like this, use your own critical judgement and decide if she's right, half-right, or all wrong. And try not to bother pointing it out, as that would just be bonus invalidation.

Projection (taking feelings she is uncomfortable with having and putting them on you, then attacking you for having them) is a common BPD behavior.

Mirroring (copying your words, expressions, and feelings) is another common BPD behavior.

Actually both of these are things that pretty much everybody does, at least a little bit. BPD just takes it to an extreme level.

Thank you very much GreyKitty for all of your input.  I have not realized the huge double standard you mentioned... .

I will definitely look to see if she is right with the meaning of the words she uses and will not point out if she is wrong or somewhat wrong.

Projection... .this was when I mentioned her among other things that my depression got worse after she dumped me as a friend.     

I remember also that she is looking at what people do everyday in an online support group and that was strange.   She said that she cared, but one doesn't need to be everyday looking at what others do in an online support group to show you care.  Then when she replies she uses some of my words and I feel weird about it.  I know people copy your words a little bit, but it surprised me that she used my expressions and words.  She may be trying to be accepted by people and use their words and behavior, I don't know, this is only what I guess.

 It makes me angry that she may not be authentic as I thought.  Now I remember once I was going to tell her that she was supportive but that I would like her to be herself.  I never did because I forgot and we started to not get along well.  It makes me angry but it seems to be the BPD. 

I wish she got help for her BPD or whatever problem she has.  She has been in therapy for her PTSD for years and she completed it with her therapist and has been in therapy since she was a teen.  I fear that if I tell her she has BPD or any other thing and to get help with a therapist for that, then she will get rid of me forever, thus I have not told her anything.  She has not said she will have any therapy in the future.  Anyway, it hurts me that she was not honest with me and didn't tell me that she has this disorder or/and any other mental illness/disorder to know what to expect and to be able to be supportive.  I feel betrayed once again and my trust issues came to live again.     

     

[askingtoheal]

To what statement of yours did she ask you - what type of response you wanted?
I ask since one form of effective communication also says to ask the opposite person when they're asking/talking irrational things - What do you expect me to say to that? So let's analyse where your friend was coming from.
Askingtoheal- I am again really very sorry that you're feeling so overwhelemed and depressed. I am not trying to be a devils advocate but just trying to get the other side of the coin for some new perspectives.

Thank you for your thoughts waitingwife.  I had to search for that message.  I told her that I was very sad about the loss of her friendship and that I had sessions with my practitioner to help me with that which are very expensive for me.   And then I told her how things are where I live, which was different to what she said.  She said she cannot fix those things, but I didn't want her to fix my problems.  I was just telling her that it is different to what she thought and the affirmations she said to me could not be applied in my case.  I wanted to be heard.   

[askingtoheal]

I've read this more than a few times. The replies Bring memories. The last my ex and i were together was after my ex had moved on. We were talking out in public and someone walked passed us. We looked at one another. My ex made a comment then I followed it with mine. Then we finished the each other's sentences and laughed. We always did that and still do. Amazing stuff.
I agree it is also hard for the non as it is to the pwBPD. It can be frustrating to have to adapt to another way of speaking. For pwBPD, im sure it's equally frustrating. Not equality as in we all feel the same exactly. Frustrating for you as the pwBPD because of all the things you cannot change about you. Frustrating to the non for all the things he or she cannot help you to change. I registered after reading about validation, mindfulness, and boundaries on here. Once I read a few posting boundaries began to make more sense.
This friend must be very special to you. Most people here post about their romantic partner or family member. It's nice that you care about your friend.



Thank you Rand for your comment.  It is so nice you had those happy moments with your partner.
This BPD stuff is frustrating for non BPDs and I guess it is the same for BPDs.
Yes, this friend is important to me, but I mean nothing for her, because she dumped me as a friend.  I guess she has me only for her supply, support and validation.  I don't know when she will get rid of me  permanently... .I felt safe with her before she dumped me and before she told me hurtful things which didn't make sense for a non BPD.    

[waitingwife]

Would you like to set a goal for yourself? What would you like to do that's going to make you happy? Are you in a emotional state to mend or do anything about this relationship (since you mentioned you are depressed) at this time?
It must be really hurtful that this friend has caused your depression if thats what it is however we need to find the key to our own happiness first.
Also I see that you wanted to be heard but did your friend want to hear you? I know true friends should be able to and if it's an issue for you then is this friendship worth it? Wanting to be heard at all costs is associated with a sense of exerting control too.
I can tell you this that if you have many other friends and a support system, you should let this rest for the time being and focus how you can be happy. Out here we're all struggling and learning coping methods because we have spouses, kids, etc but if it is just a friend then it might be worth it to get closure and move on.

[askingtoheal]

Would you like to set a goal for yourself? What would you like to do that's going to make you happy? Are you in a emotional state to mend or do anything about this relationship (since you mentioned you are depressed) at this time?
It must be really hurtful that this friend has caused your depression if thats what it is however we need to find the key to our own happiness first.
Also I see that you wanted to be heard but did your friend want to hear you? I know true friends should be able to and if it's an issue for you then is this friendship worth it? Wanting to be heard at all costs is associated with a sense of exerting control too.
I can tell you this that if you have many other friends and a support system, you should let this rest for the time being and focus how you can be happy. Out here we're all struggling and learning coping methods because we have spouses, kids, etc but if it is just a friend then it might be worth it to get closure and move on.

Thanks waitingwife for your reply.  I am trying to recover from my PTSD and depression.  This will take a lot of time.  I am taking this easy.   

She didn't cause my depression.  She made it worse.  I was more stable when we were getting along.  My former friend is not the source of my happiness.  I create my own happiness.

 I don't want to be heard at all costs.  Her reply was not a big deal for me.

 The problem is that I don't have supporters for my PTSD symptoms.  That former friend is my main supporter.  It is difficult for me to find somebody who cares and knows about this and what happens is that she knows and she has been the one who cared and she has been helpful and supportive. 

[waitingwife]

How can you start taking care of yourself now? It can be exhausting to care for each other and maybe your friend is either getting healthy or lacks the capacity to support your prsd symptoms. Can you find another source since you create your own happiness? Whats your goal now?

[askingtoheal]

How can you start taking care of yourself now? It can be exhausting to care for each other and maybe your friend is either getting healthy or lacks the capacity to support your prsd symptoms. Can you find another source since you create your own happiness? Whats your goal now?

Thanks for your reply.  My former friend has the capacity to support survivors' PTSD symptoms.  We survivors of PTSD need the support of people who know and have gone through this.  My goal is the same as in the beginning which is to recover myself.  I have not been able to find another supportive person who knows about this. 

[waitingwife]

How do you plan to move closer to your center from the depression without this friend's help?

[FallBack!Monster]

.  My former friend has the capacity to support survivors' PTSD symptoms.  We survivors of PTSD need the support of people who know and have gone through this.  My goal is the same as in the beginning which is to recover myself.  I have not been able to find another supportive person who knows about this. 

askingtoheal,
The above has me wondering why type of credentials does your friend have?

[waitingwife]

Dealing with ptsd is not easy and I'm so sorry you lost your person. It sounds like the dynamics between the 2 of you was not healthy to start off. Sometimes just friends are not enough to deal with ptsd & depression, have you ever thought of seeing a counselor/therapist to overcome this? You might be in a better position to decide about your friendship after you come back to your center, no? You come first - ALWAYS