Redefined,
Glad to hear you have already begun your education to help you better understand your situation and how you may improve things with your own actions/reactions. Communicating with a pwBPD can be difficult at times and learning new techniques can be very helpful.
Here is a link to our book review message board:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=33.0obviously not all of these books are geared towards your type of relationship, but if you sift through the reviews you should find more than a few that would be very helpful.
To both you and Karina, I'll ask if you have sought a therapist for yourselves so they may help assist you in your understanding of this illness and guide you on your journey. I know I did as well as many others here, and many have found that very helpful.
Keep posting, and most of all, be very compassionate with yourselves in your process, don't expect to be perfect, and when you are not... .that's ok!