Daughter diagnosed

[RefinedSilver]

Hi all,

New to this. My daughter recently got an official diagnosis of BPD. 23 years old & unstable. Where do I start?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[drained1996]

Redifined   

Welcome to the family.  We are sorry for the circumstances that bring you here, but many of us have stood in your exact position.  Here you will find support, education material, an overall system to be there when you find yourself in need.  Understanding the illness is a place to start.  to the right of this page you will find lessons and tools that can help you in your process of dealing with your daughter.  You may also want to check out the book "Walking on eggshells" as a good start for reading. 
Sharing your struggles with us here can be very freeing as you will find that responses will reveal that you are not alone in your journey... .and it's powerful to learn you share many of the same struggles as others.  One thing not to lose sight of is taking care of yourself when dealing with a person with BPD (pwBPD).  They can be emotionally and mentally draining on those they are close to at times. 
If you feel like sharing more of your story, we are here anytime.   

[RefinedSilver]

Thanks   I did read the book stop walking on egg shells. I have some other books to read soon. Again Thanks for being here  

[Karina]

Hi,

I'm new to this as well, for my daughter. From reading Stop walking on eggshells, I realized that my husband is also BPD and that it really explains alot of the dysfunctional problems our family has been through over the past 20 years. My daughter and my husband have both started therapy, so that should help.
I don't know what I should read next, but I feel there's more to learn... .You said you have other books to read. Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Karina

[drained1996]

Redefined,

Glad to hear you have already begun your education to help you better understand your situation and how you may improve things with your own actions/reactions.  Communicating with a pwBPD can be difficult at times and learning new techniques can be very helpful. 
Here is a link to our book review message board:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=33.0
obviously not all of these books are geared towards your type of relationship, but if you sift through the reviews you should find more than a few that would be very helpful.
To both you and Karina, I'll ask if you have sought a therapist for yourselves so they may help assist you in your understanding of this illness and guide you on your journey.  I know I did as well as many others here, and many have found that very helpful. 
Keep posting, and most of all, be very compassionate with yourselves in your process, don't expect to be perfect, and when you are not... .that's ok!