Being attacked on social media

[CooperD]

Hi folks,

I am maintaining no contact but have had a bad day and so decided to have a look at anything she has been posting on Imgur.  i don't use Facebook/Instagram etc and so no risk there of me getting drawn in.

I google searched her username on there and it brought up all the comments she has put over last few months.  She hasn't actually made a direct post herself about me (yet) but has posted several nasty things in response to other peoples posts.

- comments about me having erectile dysfunction and being a sexual failure (not true as per my previous posts on this forum) but one of her favourite ways to attack me.

- comments about her being happily single.

- comments about her downloading Tinder as quickly as possible.

- comments about how handsome she finds other people that have posted images/videos.

Its sad to read as I see her rage and anger in the words and I see her desperation at wanting to belong.

Its my own fault for even looking but its so hard to know someone is posting messages about you that are so far from the truth and if those people only know the truth.  For example me having sex with her as she requested and her immediately after and for the next 12 hours sadistically telling me she was going to report me for rape.

[joeramabeme]

Hey CooperD
Sorry to hear about all this.  Easy to tell ourselves it "Shouldn't" bother us, but we have feelings and these comments do hurt.ave you thought about ways to avoid getting onto all the social media?

FWIW, people who have a strong sense of self and good direction will not take her words for anything more than what they are; a defensive attack.

My ex and I had a mutual friend who stayed friendly with both of us after the divorce.  I never asked any questions about my ex but one day she voluntarily told me that my ex is shallow - meaning that she doesn't have any depth of feeling.  The point being, that people who have their own stuff in a pile will spot other people who don't and will file it accordingly. 

Hang in there.

[apollotech]

CooperD,

That's possibly triangulation that you're being involved in. Triangulation involves three components: the persecutor (you), the victim (her), and the rescuer(s) (whoever she can garner symathy from). That's pretty common for people to run a triangle on social media because the rescuer(s) are easily kept from the truth. There is a link on this site about the Karpman Triangle. I suggest you look into it. It may shed some light onto what you're witnessing.

[Rayban]

Hi CooperD,

I know how difficultit could be to keep away from social media, and your ex knows this.  I would find myself peeking, searching for answers.  I would also do it because at the time it was a way for me to stay connected to her. As you mention, and as wasthe case for me nothing good came of following what she was doing, how she felt, who she was with, etc. I was wasting precious energy on her, and very little on myself. Just be good to yourself,  and try to stay away, and use that time to work on yourself. 

As for what she's posting,  it's all smoke and mirrors. Social Media is just a way to hook more people into their drama.