She said "I can have any man I want"

[RippedTorn]

When my pwBPD saw that I really was going to leave her, her fears got worse. First she told my housekeeper that she would be my next victim. That she would marry me and suffer (of course projection, because I was the victim). She called my housekeeper "my other wife". Never mind that my housekeeper worked for me 16 years, was married and loyal for 45 years, and had a large family. When she was confronted, my housekeeper told my wife in a stern tone never to talk to her like that. My housekeeper had boundaries and I didn't. She did not take any sh**. My wife apologized to her (something she never did with me) and ran out of the house crying. Then she came back and told me she could have any man she wanted. I told her that was wonderful, I was happy for her and to go and get one of those men and take your borderline bull**** and torment someone else. That was it. I have never heard from her since and don't want to. Eventually we nons have to toughen up and not be so accommodating and weak. My housekeeper proved it.

[CooperD]

Hi RippedTorn,

The incident you posted below is almost exactly what happened to me on several occasions, including my BPD using those exact same words "I can have any man I want".

She also used to tell me how on so many occasions she could have cheated on me and how she deserved a man far better than me.  Again just complete abuse and attempts at making you feel worthless

My BPD became obsessed with my ex too (sending her nasty messages, threatening her, posting my ex pictures of the wedding between myself and the BPD with the caption "I am going to make your life miserable".

On my birthday breakfast (december 2015) paid for by myself she accused me of having an affair with a work colleague.  A girl 10 years younger than me who is like a sister to me.  I even asked my work colleague to provide an audio message / email to my BPD confirming that we were only ever friends and she had nothing to worry about.  I even told my BPD i would arrange a meal with the work colleague and her boyfriend to show her there was nothing to be concerned about.  Did not make one jot of difference to my BPD.

As you say about your housekeeper - maybe If i had set boundaries etc it could have helped - but when you are on the end of the BPD's rage/anger/irrationality it is a very lonely and scary place.