She was true love

[Depression = 72% of members]

Well here goes... .

I dated the love of my life for a year.  I'm 36 and she's 23. We had a great loving relationship and made sure to do the little things for each other. Then her anxiety disorder popped its ugly head out. I knew about it after I fell in love. I know her mom has it and I knew my ex had it for most of her life.  I never understood how serious the illness is.

So her background... .Her real dad tried to kill her at a very young age and her mom divorced him, she still talks to him and has forgave him.  She watched her mom struggle with her anxiety issues and said to me she didn't want to take medication for herself because she says she saw what it turned her mom into. Yet her mother is her rock and they have one of those to close relationships. This past year together my ex dealt with a lot.  Her mother and step dad finalized their divorce, she found out she has HPV, she saw an email and text from my baby momma asking for us to reconcile.  The good with me was she moved in 2 months after meeting, she lost 30 pounds, changed jobs, got back to the gym, quit smoking, stopped energy drinks, stressed how much she loved living with me.

About a month ago she had a severe panic attack going on a trip with her family. She returned home and said she never felt like this before and she wanted to die.  She couldn't shake the anxiety so she saw a therapist... .3 days later she abandoned me.  Packed up moved out and blocked me.  A couple days after she started liking my posts on Instagram.  Once she saw me comment on another girls post she immediately texts me goodbye.  Like it was my old neighbor that I knew for 30 years.  

This past Saturday I took a necklace back to her and figured 3 weeks had passed and we could talk but her mother called the cops on me.  I did not get charged with anything.  I was just told to not to not call or text her,  and she was told she can reach out to me anytime she has a change of heart.

I don't really understand this whole thing.  I watched this woman destroy the only thing she ever wanted. True real love.  I don't get how all this time I was amazing and the in a split second I turned into this evil man.  I always thought her jealousy issues and clingyness was just because of her age.  I thought she would grow out of it.  I thought her insecurities would pass. I never ever imagined being in the position I'm in right now.  

I guess I'm asking is will she ever reach back out to me?  Any opinions please!

Lost soul

[Lilbigman]

Well here goes... .

I dated the love of my life for a year.  I'm 36 and she's 23. We had a great loving relationship and made sure to do the little things for each other. Then her anxiety disorder popped its ugly head out. I knew about it after I fell in love. I know her mom has it and I knew my ex had it for most of her life.  I never understood how serious the illness is.

So her background... .Her real dad tried to kill her at a very young age and her mom divorced him, she still talks to him and has forgave him.  She watched her mom struggle with her anxiety issues and said to me she didn't want to take medication for herself because she says she saw what it turned her mom into. Yet her mother is her rock and they have one of those to close relationships. This past year together my ex dealt with a lot.  Her mother and step dad finalized their divorce, she found out she has HPV, she saw an email and text from my baby momma asking for us to reconcile.  The good with me was she moved in 2 months after meeting, she lost 30 pounds, changed jobs, got back to the gym, quit smoking, stopped energy drinks, stressed how much she loved living with me.

About a month ago she had a severe panic attack going on a trip with her family. She returned home and said she never felt like this before and she wanted to die.  She couldn't shake the anxiety so she saw a therapist... .3 days later she abandoned me.  Packed up moved out and blocked me.  A couple days after she started liking my posts on Instagram.  Once she saw me comment on another girls post she immediately texts me goodbye.  Like it was my old neighbor that I knew for 30 years.  

This past Saturday I took a necklace back to her and figured 3 weeks had passed and we could talk but her mother called the cops on me.  I did not get charged with anything.  I was just told to not to not call or text her,  and she was told she can reach out to me anytime she has a change of heart.

I don't really understand this whole thing.  I watched this woman destroy the only thing she ever wanted. True real love.  I don't get how all this time I was amazing and the in a split second I turned into this evil man.  I always thought her jealousy issues and clingyness was just because of her age.  I thought she would grow out of it.  I thought her insecurities would pass. I never ever imagined being in the position I'm in right now.  

I guess I'm asking is will she ever reach back out to me?  Any opinions please!

Lost soul

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Willis002]

I'm in the same kind of situation. Everything was going great for 3 plus months and then she dropped the bomb on me. Again everything was great like in your situation. She told me to not contact her, friends, go to her work or house. She also 12 hours later threaten a restraining order against me because I was trying to reach out to people who she's close to, to get answers. Just like you my ex was amazing and turned a 180 on me. Idk this woman she is right now. She is scared if me for some unknown reason and want me to leave her alone. I've reached out and has other try to talk to her. I know our relationship and her friends and everything she has said is 95% lies. Giving me all the blame.

I think in both our situations their was an engulfment issue. As I am you should go NC and hope she figures herself out. You will only make things worse. She needs to have the pendulum swing the other way. That's why you have to leave her alone. If there's any chance of getting our girls back you have to let their fear of abandonment kick in. There I believe that you can work on things with your ex. I think our situations are similar and if you feel like this was something completely random and she's just fearing he committment to you... .I believe she will come back and I believe my ex will come back too. The hardest part is waiting. I'm 2 months in now. My feelings haven changed for my ex. Don't be surprised if your ex is hangout with a guy. Our ex's need somebody around them. Don't take it personally. It's how our ex's survive and also the way they will know they made a mistake with us. 

[Lilbigman]

All the signs are there. I know when if she ever attempts to contact me my heart will be long gone.  Just like my ex of 14 years who tried to reach out to me after a year and a half.  She was so worried I would go back to her and didn't understand I can't go back to her when I was really in love with this relationship.  We lived together talked about marriage and kids.  Will she ever reach back to me after the cop calling or will she turn to other exs instead of me.  Hard enough fighting with your ex-girlfriend who has BPD but also dealing with her mother who has BPD also      I just feel like it's a lost cause .  have you had any contact with yours yet

[Willis002]

I've done had people try to contact her for me and she has begged them to tell me to leave her alone. I feel like its a game. I don't think she's scared of me or anything but she wants me away for some reason. I have feeling she will contact me sometime soon. But no we haven't talked. She is using the victim card. I'm using NC now and letting her miss me. She doesn't have a many ex's and her last ex she hates! I mean like there's no way in hell she will even talk to him. I'm now just remaining single because she has my heart. I'm focusing on me and trying to improve myself. I'm doing it for me, but say my ex does comeback and sees the difference in me she will regret her decision even more. I'm also focusing on my career. My advice is to focus on you and go NC.

I hear you on the mom thing. My ex's mom is a narcissist and is superficial. I believe she's part of the reason we broke up and finally broke my ex. Her mom always talked bad about me behind my back.